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(soft piano music plays)

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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
M_I_SForEver

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(♪♪♪)

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♪ I love the way it hits me
and gets me all I need ♪

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♪ Your lips pressed against mine
makes me weak at the knees ♪

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♪ Is it you? ♪

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♪ Is it me? ♪

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♪ Overwhelmed again
'cause I can't see ♪

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JARED'S FIANCÉE:
Oh, Jared.

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♪ Got me hooked
on that thing called love ♪

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JARED'S FIANCÉE:
It's so beautiful.

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JARED:
No, you're so beautiful.

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There's no one else
I'd rather spend

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the rest of my life with.

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My love, will you...

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ARCHIE:
She's not for you.

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JARED:
What the hell?

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ARCHIE:
Pow!

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- Hey!
- Oh.

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That ring costs me 10 grand.

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ARCHIE:
You were robbed.

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And besides,
I've saved you

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a lot more than that.

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And as for you, honey,
you can do far better than him.

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♪ Is it you? ♪

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♪ Is it me? ♪

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♪ Overwhelmed again
'cause I can't see ♪

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♪ Got me hooked
on that thing called love ♪

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ARCHIE:
Ah.

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Ha-ha!

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Still alive?

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Hey!

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(Laughing)

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ARCHIE:
Hey!

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Rise and shine!

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(Laughing)

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(♪♪♪)

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Wow!

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What a dinner.

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That's got to be
the best Italian in the city.

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I uh, kind of wanted
sushi tonight but...

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Oh, how good was the pasta,
huh, babe?

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I think the chef's from Sicily.

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Tuscany.

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And it's just so simple,
you know,

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just chicken and mushrooms,
and spinach.

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I think the recipe
was a lot more complicated

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than that but...

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Makes you wonder
why you'd ever want to eat

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anywhere else.

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We should take your parents
there next week.

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We really shouldn't.

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MAN IN PARK:
Spare some change.

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Very generous.

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Here, take this, too.

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The chef's from Sicily.

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Tuscany.

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DAVE:
Enjoy.

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Uh, could use something
to wash it down with.

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Here.

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Take this.

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My man.

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I thought he might be hungry.

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That was sweet, Dave.

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You know, uh,
we should try to make

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some of that pasta.

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Shut up about the pasta.

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It wasn't that fucking good.

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- It wasn't?
- No.

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Yes.

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I mean, like it was
and then it wasn't,

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you know what I mean?

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Not really.

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Um, I'm sorry
I can't do this anymore.

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Do what anymore?

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Denise, do what anymore?

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The... this.

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You.
Us.

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Like...

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Denise, what are you saying?

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I... I'm saying goodbye.

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I'm breaking up with you.

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What?
What?

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- Why?
- Because I don't love you.

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Yes, you do.

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You've told me tons of times.

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Well, I... I was wrong.

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But what about us
getting married

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after I graduate law school
like we talked about?

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I'm sorry, Dave,
I'm just not feeling it.

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Feeling what?

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That spark.

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You know, that magical moment
a girl's supposed to feel.

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Like, it wasn't there
from the start.

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Sure, it was.

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It was very magical
when we met.

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We met at the DMV.

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I let you cut in front of me.

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Uh.

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- Nobody does that at the DMV.
- Okay.

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Just... just try to understand,
okay?

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So when I was a little girl,
I grew up watching

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all these movies
and there was always

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this magic moment.

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<i>Belle</i> and <i>Beauty and the Beast</i>
had it and...

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Oh, oh,
and Demi Moore in <i>Ghost.</i>

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God, even Sarah Connor
in the <i>Terminator</i> had it.

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I...
I just don't feel that with you.

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(Sighs)

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Oh, come on, say something.

111
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So you can't be in love
with someone

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unless they're a ghost,
a monster or someone

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sent back in time to protect you
from a cyborg assassin.

114
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Exactly.

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- Oh, you got it.
- No!

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I don't got it at all.

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Life's not like the movies
where there's this big

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dramatic moment
with all the bells and whistles

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or getting hit by cupid's arrow
when you meet someone.

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Okay, I want there to be.

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Oh, Denise.

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Be reasonable.

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Love isn't supposed
to be reasonable.

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But I'd do anything for you.

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Would you though?

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Like would you really?

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Of course, I would.

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Uh, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.

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Goodbye, Dave.

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She got one thing right,
pasta was good,

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but it wasn't that fucking good.

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(♪♪♪)

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♪ Oh, Denise, please spare me ♪

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♪ My fragile heart
is shattering ♪

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♪ I thought
we were meant to be ♪

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♪ Now, I'm left alone again ♪

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♪ Oh, Denise,
please spare me ♪

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MORRIS:
Aww.

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<i>Hey! Why isn't the game on?</i>

140
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Huh?

141
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I just called in
two large with my bookie.

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(TV playing)

143
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Okay.

144
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Yeah, bitch!
Come on!

145
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Run!

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(Laughs)

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MORRIS:
Ooh, run!

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(Groans)

149
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Touchdown!

150
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Cover the spread, baby.

151
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That's another big win for me.

152
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And when I, Cousin Marissa,
a.k.a. Morris the Magnificent

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the Mo Money,
the Big Mo Pho-Wins,

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say it with me, cuz.

155
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- I don't care!
- MORRIS: We all win.

156
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You don't care.

157
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What the fuck?

158
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What do you mean
you don't care?

159
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What are you looking at?

160
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My calendar.

161
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It's been exactly a year
since Denise and I broke up.

162
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Uh, you didn't break up.

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She dumped you
in front of a homeless man.

164
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What?

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You have the date circled
with a little heart drawn

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- cracked in half?
- No!

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I just...

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It was a rhetorical
fucking question.

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My God!

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All right!

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Oh, if I had known
this was gonna be a pity party,

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I would have brought over
a couple of bottles of wine,

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some razors and we could
have gotten drunk

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and shaved our vaginas together.

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I thought we're gonna
watch football.

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(Chuckles)

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You do know what you're doing,
don't you?

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Yes! I do, Morris!

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I'm missing the girl I love.

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Not missing, clinging.

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And as far as I am concerned,
that is the kind

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of emotional behavior
that makes me wanna disown you

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from the family
or at the very least

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punch you in the face.

185
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I can't help it
if I'm not over our breakup.

186
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Again, not break up
because she dumped you.

187
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What difference does it make?

188
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You're idealizing
the relationship

189
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and you are idolizing her.

190
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Do you think that she decided
that night to end things?

191
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(Laughs)

192
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Anytime a woman
breaks up with you,

193
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that is months in the making.

194
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Years, even.

195
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I mean, men are just too stupid
to see it coming.

196
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And what do you know about it?

197
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I mean, your longest
relationship has lasted

198
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no longer than a night.

199
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Okay, you're exaggerating
a little bit.

200
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I mean, like three,
four hours tops.

201
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Pretty much midway through
the third orgasm

202
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I am calling an Uber.

203
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(Laughs)

204
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Davey, look.

205
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You had her, you lost her,
and now she's gone.

206
00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:29,310
Yeah?

207
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,912
Besides, if you really
wanna pay Denise back,

208
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best and most effective way
to do that is to live

209
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a happily ever after
without her.

210
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,021
It's not about paying her back.

211
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I just want her back.

212
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I'm never gonna find someone
as good as her again.

213
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,595
Bullshit!

214
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,163
The world is filled
with beautiful women.

215
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:49,997
I should know.

216
00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:51,065
I have dated half of them.

217
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(Laughs)

218
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MORRIS: Do you mean to tell
me that your tiny corner

219
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,170
of Buffalo, New York
turned out the best

220
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,638
possible girl for you?

221
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,472
Your soul mate?

222
00:08:58,507 --> 00:08:59,840
I don't think it, I know it.

223
00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:03,177
All right, well, all I know
is that this is not the Dave

224
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,645
that I know.

225
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,580
This is not the kid
whose butt I wiped,

226
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,282
coddled, and kicked
while growing up

227
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,451
and molded into a guy
that was cool enough

228
00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,720
to hang out with me,
you know what I mean?

229
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,955
My Dave would never have fallen
so hard

230
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,791
that he couldn't get back up
again.

231
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:17,691
What can I say?

232
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,460
She's the one.

233
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,028
Well, so what are you
gonna do about it?

234
00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:22,163
Hmm?

235
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:23,030
Gonna be miserable
the rest of your life?

236
00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:26,000
I don't know.

237
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,968
(Clears throat)

238
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,103
Give me your cell phone.

239
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,171
- What?
- What?

240
00:09:30,204 --> 00:09:31,072
- What?
- Phone.

241
00:09:31,105 --> 00:09:32,541
No!
Why?

242
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,974
Give it to me!
Give it to me!

243
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:34,942
- (Dave grunts)
- Oh my God!

244
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,011
You still have this picture
on your phone?

245
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,212
Wow!

246
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,514
When a selfie can capture
true love like this,

247
00:09:39,548 --> 00:09:40,981
you have got to take pause.

248
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,116
How many likes
did this get again?

249
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,150
Can I have my phone back,
please?

250
00:09:43,184 --> 00:09:44,785
Dave, this is for your own good.

251
00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:45,586
Please!

252
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,254
I'm begging you,
move the fuck on!

253
00:09:47,288 --> 00:09:48,389
I can't!
Okay?

254
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,958
I'm in too much pain.

255
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,094
No!

256
00:09:53,127 --> 00:09:54,328
That is pain.

257
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,729
Do not confuse it with misery.

258
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:56,597
That hurt!

259
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,699
Just illustrating
a crucial point.

260
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,201
Pain is transitory.

261
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:01,635
In a few minutes
you are gonna feel much better,

262
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,138
but you're still
going to be miserable.

263
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,673
- (Laughs)
- (Gasps)

264
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,408
I bet you have like
a thousand photos of Denise

265
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,409
- on this phone.
- Morris!

266
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,110
- Morris! No!
- MORRIS: Yup!

267
00:10:09,143 --> 00:10:10,811
Hey! Hey, hey!

268
00:10:13,314 --> 00:10:15,749
Morris!

269
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,085
Let's just give it a second
to get a nice sear.

270
00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:20,020
Damn it, Morris!

271
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,922
MORRIS:
Ah, yes!

272
00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:24,725
Yeah, smells done to me.

273
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:25,793
Oh.

274
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,768
Medium rare.

275
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,669
- (Sniffles)
- Aah.

276
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,138
It's all backed up on the Cloud,
anyway.

277
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:38,239
Oh, the Cloud.

278
00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:39,740
Well, Dave,
that is beyond my reach.

279
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,342
It is up to the gods now
to figure out

280
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,344
what to do with you.

281
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,012
Whoop!
Brrr, it's cold!

282
00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:49,450
Fuck!

283
00:10:51,185 --> 00:10:52,286
Maybe give me a break, okay?

284
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,556
You know, show like
a little bit of sympathy.

285
00:10:54,589 --> 00:10:56,123
David,
you are like a brother to me

286
00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:57,458
and I would take
a bullet for you,

287
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,628
but I will give you nothing
that I haven't given you before,

288
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,862
which is the hard truth
and tough love.

289
00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:04,265
So what if I have hope
and I'm still holding on to it?

290
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:05,600
You're a gambler,
you have hunches you stick with,

291
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:06,667
kind of the same thing, right?

292
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,537
No, no, no, no.
I am a winning gambler.

293
00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,505
I don't play hunches,
I play the odds.

294
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,473
I play with
statistical probability

295
00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:13,741
and scientific facts.

296
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,410
Where is the evidence
that Denise wants you back, huh?

297
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,678
Just because
you want her back, too?

298
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,080
No. There just still has to be
a chance.

299
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,616
Sure there is.

300
00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:23,784
Why don't you give her a call?

301
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,952
Later.

302
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,790
(Door creaks then slams)

303
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,731
(♪♪♪)

304
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,308
The least you can do
is say sorry.

305
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,820
You're a real asshole, you know.

306
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,725
MRS. FISHBAUM:
You should clean that up.

307
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,561
You hipsters have
already done enough

308
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,697
to ruin the neighborhood.

309
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,303
DAVE:
Good morning, Mrs. Fishbaum.

310
00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:17,438
Perfect timing.

311
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:20,341
Onion bagels
just came out of the oven.

312
00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:24,011
Do you know that poppy seed
shows up as heroin

313
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,479
in your blood?

314
00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:26,914
My son's a doctor.

315
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,115
He tells me these things.

316
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,383
That's very interesting.

317
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,654
I wouldn't want you
to fail a drug test, David,

318
00:12:32,687 --> 00:12:35,022
because you ate
a poppy seed bagel before.

319
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,491
I appreciate the tip,
I will try to keep that in mind.

320
00:12:37,525 --> 00:12:41,228
A young man like you
must do a lot of drugs

321
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:43,698
to still work as a bagel boy.

322
00:12:43,732 --> 00:12:45,232
As I mentioned before,
this is just

323
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:46,568
a temporary situation
while I'm still

324
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:47,935
in law school, Mrs. F.

325
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,538
Do you know
that this coffee shop

326
00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:52,674
used to be a part
of the old neighborhood

327
00:12:52,707 --> 00:12:54,074
Jewish Community Center?

328
00:12:54,108 --> 00:12:55,042
(Sighs)

329
00:12:56,844 --> 00:13:02,116
I met my husband
right at that table.

330
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,951
(Sniffles)

331
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,622
Do you know
what I hope for, David?

332
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:13,460
I hope I'll see him
sitting there again.

333
00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:18,499
What would you say to him?

334
00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:22,537
Oh, I love you.

335
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,238
I hate you.

336
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,206
(Dave Chuckles)

337
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,909
Oh, I miss you.

338
00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:33,782
- I'm horny.
- Okay.

339
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,486
(Sighs)

340
00:13:39,521 --> 00:13:41,021
(Archie groans)

341
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,693
All right.

342
00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:54,703
Yeah, send an ambulance
to the corner of Grant

343
00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:58,740
and Elmwood,
there's been an accident.

344
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,944
MRS. FISHBAUM: David,
have you ever met my granddaughter?

345
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,717
Too bad for you, David,
she's gay.

346
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,851
Based on her past
relationships,

347
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,655
she has very low standards.

348
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,790
In fact, she would have gone out
with you even though

349
00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:17,692
you just make bagels for living.

350
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,960
Just a temporary situation,
Mrs. F.

351
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:24,131
I don't do as many drugs as you,
but I do smoke marijuana

352
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,736
for my arthritis, my glaucoma.

353
00:14:27,769 --> 00:14:30,037
Maybe we could get
high together sometime.

354
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,071
Hmm?

355
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:34,509
On second thought,
you probably couldn't handle

356
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,611
the shit I smoke.

357
00:14:36,644 --> 00:14:38,045
Mrs. Fishbaum,
I bet Snoop Dogg

358
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,848
couldn't handle
the shit you smoke.

359
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,295
(Archie laughs)

360
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,931
Let's get this show on the road.

361
00:15:00,835 --> 00:15:02,637
Love!

362
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,540
Fuck!

363
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,447
Oh my God, I am so sorry.

364
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,482
Are you all right?

365
00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:16,917
I am now.

366
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,952
(♪♪♪)

367
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,586
Hello.

368
00:15:51,619 --> 00:15:53,855
If you came here to give me
more grief, go home.

369
00:15:53,888 --> 00:15:56,190
- I don't need it.
- No.

370
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,726
I came here to apologize.

371
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,695
I was really rough on you
and I am sorry.

372
00:16:00,728 --> 00:16:02,797
You cremated my damn cell phone.

373
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,097
Let me make amends.

374
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,600
Fly to Vegas with me.

375
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:06,801
(Scoffs)

376
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,335
Dude, I will take care
of everything.

377
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,504
We can leave tonight.

378
00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,371
I can't just fly to Vegas, okay?

379
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,006
Unlike you,
I have responsibilities.

380
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,643
Oh, come on,
I'm trying to make nice here.

381
00:16:15,677 --> 00:16:17,712
Vegas will make you forget
all about the fact

382
00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:19,814
that you don't have Denise
to fuck anymore.

383
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,148
Huh?

384
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,984
Oh, he is a very smooth lover.

385
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:24,985
Yeah.

386
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,788
I'm... I'm his cousin,
so I wouldn't know but...

387
00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:28,989
enjoy your latte.

388
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,192
Why must you reduce everything
to its basis element?

389
00:16:32,226 --> 00:16:33,828
Mm, at its basis,

390
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:36,497
not having sex with Denise
is what you miss the most.

391
00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:37,297
Well, it's not.

392
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,298
It's much more than that.

393
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:39,366
All right, it's her.

394
00:16:41,235 --> 00:16:44,438
Okay, you're telling me,
Denise comes walking

395
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,107
through that door right now,
she says, "Dave, I'm back,

396
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,577
but you can never
sleep with me again."

397
00:16:49,611 --> 00:16:50,845
You're honestly
gonna accept that?

398
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,113
You cannot be that far gone?

399
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,716
Can you?

400
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:57,919
No, I'm not,
but that's not the point.

401
00:16:57,952 --> 00:17:00,153
It is the only point
that matter.

402
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,590
- (Growls)
- Stay!

403
00:17:02,624 --> 00:17:03,925
(Growls)

404
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,329
David!

405
00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:12,432
If you don't believe me,
maybe you will believe

406
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,268
the magic bagel.

407
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,303
Whoomp!

408
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,672
Whoomp!

409
00:17:17,705 --> 00:17:21,375
The magic bagel
sees all and tells all,

410
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,510
"Come boy.

411
00:17:22,544 --> 00:17:23,645
Come, come, come.

412
00:17:23,678 --> 00:17:26,814
The magic bagel
will not be denied."

413
00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:28,048
You are certifiable.

414
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,951
- Okay, you looking?
- Yes, I'm looking.

415
00:17:29,984 --> 00:17:33,420
Well, now, magic bagel predicts
that you will have

416
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,989
an amazing time in Vegas.

417
00:17:35,023 --> 00:17:37,190
And in fact, if you don't,
a curse will befall you

418
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:41,228
and you might end up dead
or worse have no fun.

419
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:44,666
(Siren wailing)

420
00:17:44,699 --> 00:17:46,233
Wow.

421
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,770
Magic bagel doesn't lie.

422
00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:52,339
Life is short, Dave,
and you only get one.

423
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,442
Get on with the good times, huh?

424
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,144
Ew, gross.

425
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,213
(Indistinct chatter
in background)

426
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,257
(Breathing deeply)

427
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,025
DENISE:
Never again.

428
00:18:11,059 --> 00:18:12,760
BEST FRIEND:
Well, never again.

429
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:19,299
You know, it's been a year
since Dave and I broke up.

430
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,435
You mean it's been a year
since you dumped him

431
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,571
in front of a homeless man?

432
00:18:23,605 --> 00:18:24,973
He was a great guy,
though.

433
00:18:25,006 --> 00:18:26,874
Yeah, a great guy
who you may think

434
00:18:26,908 --> 00:18:28,943
you would marry
and then kicked in the gut

435
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,143
and ripped his heart out.

436
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,714
Well, I don't understand
why he never tried

437
00:18:32,747 --> 00:18:35,115
to see me again.

438
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,651
I'm just saying.

439
00:18:36,684 --> 00:18:38,352
What if I made
the wrong decision?

440
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:41,623
What if there's something left
unfinished between me and Dave?

441
00:18:41,656 --> 00:18:42,590
Denise!

442
00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,659
Girl, I'm your best friend.

443
00:18:44,692 --> 00:18:47,160
I support you
a thousand percent.

444
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,363
I know it's an emotional time
for you right now

445
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,666
and your heart
can play tricks on you.

446
00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:55,369
But if you think
your subconscious is really

447
00:18:55,402 --> 00:19:00,541
telling you something,
maybe you should listen.

448
00:19:00,575 --> 00:19:01,776
(Sighs)

449
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:08,382
(♪♪♪)

450
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:12,319
♪ The chance is low ♪

451
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:20,360
♪ I should just go on
because the chance is low ♪

452
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:25,332
- (Indistinct lyrics)
- (Slot machine chiming)

453
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:29,504
♪ The chance is low ♪

454
00:19:29,537 --> 00:19:33,107
♪ I should just go on ♪

455
00:19:33,141 --> 00:19:35,643
♪ Because the chance is low ♪

456
00:19:35,677 --> 00:19:36,911
MORRIS:
Now pay attention.

457
00:19:36,944 --> 00:19:38,478
There are a lot of hotties here.

458
00:19:38,513 --> 00:19:41,082
Ooh, anxious to help you
mend your broken heart

459
00:19:41,115 --> 00:19:43,417
just so they can experience
the sheer joy of smashing it

460
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,552
into pieces again.

461
00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:46,087
Perfect.

462
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,355
Can you just try to forget
about your depressing obsession

463
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:51,291
with Denise for a little while
and have some fun?

464
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,260
Fun, fun, fun!

465
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,295
Remind me what's so fun
about approaching one girl

466
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,364
after another,
yelling some bogus rap

467
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,466
over loud music in the hopes
that she'll give me the honor

468
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,736
of buying her a drink,
which she'll likely refuse,

469
00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:02,770
anyway.

470
00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:04,138
I guarantee you,
every girl in there

471
00:20:04,172 --> 00:20:05,439
will let you buy her a drink.

472
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,041
Yeah?
And why is that?

473
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,443
Hmm, 30 bucks each,
they will let you buy them two.

474
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,945
Yeah?
Why not?

475
00:20:10,978 --> 00:20:13,081
Broke, heartbroken,
and I got to wait in line

476
00:20:13,114 --> 00:20:15,750
an hour for some place
that I don't wanna be in?

477
00:20:15,783 --> 00:20:16,784
You know what?

478
00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:17,985
You're right,
this line does suck.

479
00:20:18,019 --> 00:20:21,656
And I am far from wasted enough
not to care.

480
00:20:21,689 --> 00:20:23,791
Yeah. All right,
I'm gonna take a walk,

481
00:20:23,825 --> 00:20:25,126
smoke some,
play a little blackjack

482
00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:27,795
while you hold
our place in line.

483
00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:29,130
Dude, if you want,
you can come with,

484
00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:30,531
we can get back
and do this later.

485
00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:31,966
Just go.

486
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,266
I don't wanna prolong
this torture any longer

487
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:33,968
than I have to.

488
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:34,869
(Breathes deeply)

489
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:36,470
How are you related to me?

490
00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:37,872
Oh my God.

491
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,175
(Sighs)

492
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,343
You know, if it were me
trying to get over somebody,

493
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,947
getting high sounds like
a pretty good start.

494
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,549
I can hold your place in line.

495
00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:51,119
Thanks. Uh, I think
I'll wait it out here.

496
00:20:51,152 --> 00:20:52,086
You know, long lines
are actually why

497
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,655
I sometimes go clubbing.

498
00:20:54,689 --> 00:20:56,624
- Seriously?
- Sure.

499
00:20:56,657 --> 00:20:58,358
Best place to meet somebody
isn't inside where it's nothing

500
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,828
but bullshit pickup lines
from conceited jerks

501
00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,630
trying to act cool.

502
00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:04,031
It's out here.

503
00:21:04,065 --> 00:21:07,168
Before everyone has a chance
to put their club faces on.

504
00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:08,703
So if we were in there,
you'd think I was a jerk

505
00:21:08,736 --> 00:21:11,706
but out here,
I'm still a contender?

506
00:21:11,739 --> 00:21:13,040
I don't know yet.

507
00:21:13,074 --> 00:21:14,509
How convincing
is your club face?

508
00:21:20,081 --> 00:21:21,916
- Hey, baby.
- (Chuckles)

509
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,551
How would you like
to have a drink with the king?

510
00:21:23,584 --> 00:21:25,318
Elvis, really?

511
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,054
Are you trying to pick up
my grandmother?

512
00:21:27,088 --> 00:21:28,723
You can't say no
to Elvis in Vegas.

513
00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:30,490
(Scoffs)

514
00:21:30,525 --> 00:21:31,491
Okay.

515
00:21:31,526 --> 00:21:32,459
All right.

516
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:36,429
Okay.

517
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,932
How's this?

518
00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:43,037
I couldn't help but notice you
from the moment

519
00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:45,640
I saw you outside in line.

520
00:21:45,673 --> 00:21:48,609
I think it's your smile
or maybe your eyes.

521
00:21:48,643 --> 00:21:51,913
But whatever it is,

522
00:21:51,946 --> 00:21:56,117
I'd really like
to buy you a drink.

523
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:59,452
And who's that supposed to be?

524
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,923
Just me.

525
00:22:01,956 --> 00:22:03,390
Not bad, just you.

526
00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:04,625
(Chuckles)

527
00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:06,194
I'm still not letting you
buy me a drink though.

528
00:22:06,227 --> 00:22:07,528
(Groans)

529
00:22:07,562 --> 00:22:10,598
No, again?

530
00:22:10,631 --> 00:22:11,566
That was my best shot.

531
00:22:11,599 --> 00:22:14,502
Like I said,
clubs aren't really my thing.

532
00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:21,709
I will let you buy me
a big piece of chocolate cake.

533
00:22:21,742 --> 00:22:23,110
(Laughs)

534
00:22:23,144 --> 00:22:24,212
That sounds delicious,

535
00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:27,148
but I don't think
that they serve that here.

536
00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:29,482
- They don't.
- DAVE: Hmm.

537
00:22:29,517 --> 00:22:31,652
You can order it
from room service.

538
00:22:31,686 --> 00:22:34,421
(Exhales)

539
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,723
Second thoughts?

540
00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:37,024
Sounds tempting.

541
00:22:37,058 --> 00:22:39,093
I mean, you're...
you're gorgeous

542
00:22:39,126 --> 00:22:43,396
but it doesn't really jibe
with my long-term plans.

543
00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:44,765
I see.

544
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,433
We really can just eat cake.

545
00:22:48,336 --> 00:22:49,704
That would be okay with you?

546
00:22:49,737 --> 00:22:51,138
Definitely.

547
00:22:51,172 --> 00:22:52,240
What about your friend?

548
00:22:52,273 --> 00:22:53,674
Cousin. Morris.
Don't worry.

549
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:56,043
She always finds something
to keep herself entertained.

550
00:22:56,077 --> 00:22:57,245
Besides,
when she sees I'm gone,

551
00:22:57,278 --> 00:22:59,479
she'll just assume I went
to the hotel to be alone.

552
00:22:59,513 --> 00:23:03,885
Well, she'll only be half
right then.

553
00:23:03,918 --> 00:23:05,753
(Chuckles and exhales)

554
00:23:12,126 --> 00:23:13,661
Still can't believe
you're from Buffalo.

555
00:23:13,694 --> 00:23:15,796
(Laughs)

556
00:23:15,830 --> 00:23:18,032
Believe it or not,
it's on my birth certificate.

557
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:24,205
You really were okay
with just eating cake, huh?

558
00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:25,773
Chocolate cake has brought me
far more pleasure

559
00:23:25,806 --> 00:23:27,407
than most men ever have.

560
00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:36,918
Maybe you're dating
the wrong men.

561
00:23:36,951 --> 00:23:38,953
(♪♪♪)

562
00:23:51,799 --> 00:23:55,336
♪ One more time, roll me over ♪

563
00:23:55,369 --> 00:23:59,040
♪ Keep it cool,
keep my thoughts in order ♪

564
00:23:59,073 --> 00:24:02,977
♪ Pupil's wide, inch closer ♪

565
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:06,514
♪ Flashbacks make
a real takeover ♪

566
00:24:09,216 --> 00:24:12,353
♪ I said,
hey, well, not today ♪

567
00:24:12,386 --> 00:24:15,389
♪ Keep it straight
'cause my world keeps spinning ♪

568
00:24:15,423 --> 00:24:17,758
♪ World keeps spinning ♪

569
00:24:17,792 --> 00:24:19,860
♪ Hey, well, not today ♪

570
00:24:19,894 --> 00:24:23,264
♪ Keep it straight
'cause my world keeps spinning ♪

571
00:24:23,297 --> 00:24:25,166
- (Cellphone rings)
- ♪ Hello ♪

572
00:24:25,199 --> 00:24:26,701
♪ This is your cousin ♪

573
00:24:26,734 --> 00:24:28,269
(Dave groans)

574
00:24:28,302 --> 00:24:31,639
♪ She is calling ♪

575
00:24:31,672 --> 00:24:35,876
♪ She is calling you ♪

576
00:24:35,910 --> 00:24:37,645
♪ Hello ♪

577
00:24:37,678 --> 00:24:38,478
♪ This is... ♪

578
00:24:40,414 --> 00:24:41,382
Hello?

579
00:24:41,415 --> 00:24:43,351
What the hell happened
to you last night?

580
00:24:43,384 --> 00:24:45,386
I waited in that line
for like ever

581
00:24:45,419 --> 00:24:47,855
only to not find you
when I got inside.

582
00:24:47,888 --> 00:24:48,956
I never went in.

583
00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:50,091
I knew it!

584
00:24:50,124 --> 00:24:52,293
You went running to hide
in your hotel room.

585
00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:55,863
Well, serves you right
because we had a crazy time.

586
00:24:55,896 --> 00:24:57,264
Ooh!

587
00:24:57,298 --> 00:24:59,700
Those Cirque du Soleil people
really know how to party.

588
00:24:59,734 --> 00:25:00,801
(Groans)

589
00:25:00,835 --> 00:25:02,737
Ow!
Hey, hold up, Dave.

590
00:25:04,472 --> 00:25:06,440
<i>Au revoir, mademoiselle.</i>

591
00:25:06,474 --> 00:25:07,775
(Chuckles)

592
00:25:07,808 --> 00:25:08,976
Your Uber is on the way.

593
00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:11,946
<i>Oh, merci mon cheri, Morris.</i>

594
00:25:11,979 --> 00:25:13,647
I will see you later, no?

595
00:25:13,681 --> 00:25:15,082
Oh, ew, yeah.

596
00:25:15,116 --> 00:25:17,084
Oui, oui, why not?

597
00:25:17,118 --> 00:25:18,652
Hey, that Celine Dion
roleplaying thing

598
00:25:18,686 --> 00:25:19,820
we did last night, yo...

599
00:25:19,854 --> 00:25:20,755
(Imitates explosion),

600
00:25:20,788 --> 00:25:22,256
mind blowing.

601
00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:28,129
<i>I have a newfound appreciation
for the French-Canadian culture.</i>

602
00:25:28,162 --> 00:25:29,397
(Smack lips)

603
00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:30,798
Do you wanna go
to a Celine Dion concert

604
00:25:30,831 --> 00:25:31,699
with me tonight?

605
00:25:31,732 --> 00:25:32,833
Are you still high?

606
00:25:32,867 --> 00:25:35,436
No, I don't wanna go anywhere.

607
00:25:35,469 --> 00:25:37,506
David, I didn't fly you
to Vegas so you could hide

608
00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:38,939
in your hotel room
and whack off

609
00:25:38,973 --> 00:25:40,474
to memories of Denise.

610
00:25:40,509 --> 00:25:42,476
(Screams)

611
00:25:42,511 --> 00:25:43,911
DAVE: (On phone) <i>Not that it
matters but I wasn't by myself</i>

612
00:25:43,944 --> 00:25:45,546
<i>last night, okay?</i>

613
00:25:45,579 --> 00:25:47,381
Came back here with a girl
I met in line.

614
00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:48,916
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait.

615
00:25:48,949 --> 00:25:50,151
Wait. Wait, what?

616
00:25:50,184 --> 00:25:51,085
What?

617
00:25:51,118 --> 00:25:52,753
You picked up a chick in line?

618
00:25:52,787 --> 00:25:53,821
Oh my God.

619
00:25:53,854 --> 00:25:54,955
Hallelujah!

620
00:25:54,989 --> 00:25:57,058
<i>David has risen from the dead</i>

621
00:25:57,091 --> 00:25:58,325
<i>and he's back in the game,
folks!</i>

622
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,228
It's an erection,
a resurrection!

623
00:26:01,262 --> 00:26:02,763
- Morris?
- MORRIS: (On phone) <i>Oh my God.</i>

624
00:26:02,797 --> 00:26:03,497
<i>Which one was it?</i>

625
00:26:03,532 --> 00:26:04,899
<i>I wanna guess, don't tell me.</i>

626
00:26:04,932 --> 00:26:06,033
Hmm.

627
00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:08,369
Tall brunette, tight jeans,
red top.

628
00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:09,504
Standing right in front of us?

629
00:26:09,538 --> 00:26:10,539
(Scoffs)

630
00:26:10,571 --> 00:26:12,106
MORRIS: (On phone)
<i>Yes?</i>

631
00:26:12,139 --> 00:26:14,642
Dude, I approve!

632
00:26:14,675 --> 00:26:16,477
And would totally take
that action.

633
00:26:16,511 --> 00:26:17,478
DAVE: (On phone)
Her name is Stella.

634
00:26:17,512 --> 00:26:19,113
Believe it or not,
she's from Buffalo.

635
00:26:19,146 --> 00:26:22,316
And there wasn't supposed to be
any action, we just came back

636
00:26:22,349 --> 00:26:26,120
to the room to hang and talk,
but she was really nice

637
00:26:26,153 --> 00:26:28,122
and one thing led to another...

638
00:26:28,155 --> 00:26:29,890
And yeah, yeah, yeah?

639
00:26:29,924 --> 00:26:34,628
Now, I'm so riddled with guilt,
I feel sick.

640
00:26:34,662 --> 00:26:37,264
If Denise was to ever
find out about the...

641
00:26:37,298 --> 00:26:40,267
it'd blow our shot
of getting back together.

642
00:26:40,301 --> 00:26:41,368
Hm-hmm.

643
00:26:41,402 --> 00:26:42,603
Okay, wait, wait, wait.

644
00:26:42,636 --> 00:26:45,540
Now, you are telling me
that you feel guilty,

645
00:26:45,574 --> 00:26:48,042
because you think
you betrayed Denise by being

646
00:26:48,075 --> 00:26:49,578
with someone else last night.

647
00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:50,878
Yes.

648
00:26:50,911 --> 00:26:52,780
Ohh, okay.

649
00:26:52,813 --> 00:26:54,549
You know what?
See somebody, Dave.

650
00:26:54,583 --> 00:26:56,750
<i>See someone immediately
with a lot of fancy diplomas</i>

651
00:26:56,784 --> 00:26:58,819
<i>on the wall
and a very liberal approach</i>

652
00:26:58,853 --> 00:27:00,187
to shock therapy.

653
00:27:00,221 --> 00:27:02,022
Dude, she's your ex.

654
00:27:02,056 --> 00:27:03,624
Man, your ex-girlfriend.

655
00:27:03,657 --> 00:27:05,793
Like in order
for it to be cheating,

656
00:27:05,826 --> 00:27:07,428
you have to actually be
in a relationship

657
00:27:07,461 --> 00:27:08,597
with that person.

658
00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:11,198
Like how is this concept
entirely lost on you?

659
00:27:11,232 --> 00:27:12,567
I don't expect you
to understand.

660
00:27:12,601 --> 00:27:15,035
<i>Guilt isn't something
you're exactly familiar with.</i>

661
00:27:15,069 --> 00:27:16,337
Hmm, all right.

662
00:27:16,370 --> 00:27:18,906
I feel guilty about
not feeling guilty,

663
00:27:18,939 --> 00:27:21,775
so, I mean, that should count
for something, right?

664
00:27:21,809 --> 00:27:24,111
Has it ever occurred to you
that while you are feeling

665
00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:27,348
so sick over betraying Denise
that she is out there

666
00:27:27,381 --> 00:27:28,749
screwing someone else?

667
00:27:28,782 --> 00:27:32,720
I don't
even want to think about that.

668
00:27:32,753 --> 00:27:34,589
Maybe you should.

669
00:27:34,623 --> 00:27:36,056
Maybe you should, Dave!

670
00:27:36,090 --> 00:27:37,458
You know.

671
00:27:37,491 --> 00:27:40,629
You think Denise took a vow
of celibacy when she left you?

672
00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:41,896
Ha-ha, no!

673
00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:44,265
<i>Denise is right in the middle
of her,</i>

674
00:27:44,298 --> 00:27:47,434
"I am free to fuck
whoever I want" world tour.

675
00:27:47,468 --> 00:27:48,537
I mean, you should check
her Instagram,

676
00:27:48,570 --> 00:27:50,137
because she's probably
selling T-shirts.

677
00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:53,274
(Muffled scream)

678
00:27:56,677 --> 00:27:59,780
I refuse to accept
that it's over for us.

679
00:27:59,813 --> 00:28:01,682
(Knocking on door)

680
00:28:01,715 --> 00:28:02,850
Come back later.

681
00:28:02,883 --> 00:28:04,985
(Knocking continues)

682
00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:06,220
I said come back later!

683
00:28:06,253 --> 00:28:08,155
(Banging on door)

684
00:28:08,189 --> 00:28:09,591
I'm getting her back, Morris.

685
00:28:09,624 --> 00:28:12,126
I'm getting Denise back.

686
00:28:12,159 --> 00:28:14,161
I give up, little cousin.

687
00:28:14,195 --> 00:28:15,963
You are living on hope
and I'm afraid

688
00:28:15,996 --> 00:28:19,133
you're gonna starve to death.

689
00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:21,235
You can't make her love you,
Dave.

690
00:28:21,268 --> 00:28:22,671
No one can.

691
00:28:26,273 --> 00:28:27,676
This is a really good cake.

692
00:28:29,276 --> 00:28:31,278
(♪♪♪)

693
00:28:49,029 --> 00:28:51,065
(Door hinges squeak)

694
00:28:51,098 --> 00:28:52,567
Aah.

695
00:28:55,002 --> 00:28:56,203
Yo!

696
00:28:56,237 --> 00:28:57,204
Hmmm...

697
00:28:57,238 --> 00:28:59,840
You keep crawling out
of the hole.

698
00:28:59,873 --> 00:29:00,508
- Oh, okay.
- Whoop!

699
00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:02,176
- Whoop!
- Bam!

700
00:29:02,209 --> 00:29:03,545
(Gasps)

701
00:29:03,578 --> 00:29:05,246
You have been hibernating
since we came back from Vegas.

702
00:29:05,279 --> 00:29:06,380
I feel much better.

703
00:29:06,413 --> 00:29:08,115
I got a new perspective
on the situation.

704
00:29:08,148 --> 00:29:09,817
- Yeah?
- Hmmm.

705
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:11,051
Okay, now.

706
00:29:11,085 --> 00:29:12,219
This...

707
00:29:12,253 --> 00:29:13,854
This is what I like to hear,
man.

708
00:29:13,887 --> 00:29:14,788
Okay.

709
00:29:14,822 --> 00:29:16,123
Listen, if it was something
that I said.

710
00:29:16,156 --> 00:29:17,258
- Mm-mm.
- You're welcome.

711
00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:20,294
But if not, I don't even care
because you are back.

712
00:29:20,327 --> 00:29:22,029
We got to celebrate.

713
00:29:22,062 --> 00:29:23,230
Two shots of bourbon, please.

714
00:29:23,264 --> 00:29:25,099
And thank you.

715
00:29:25,132 --> 00:29:26,934
- That a new haircut?
- No.

716
00:29:26,967 --> 00:29:29,403
Dude, isn't he cute?

717
00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:32,172
To my Cousin Dave.

718
00:29:32,206 --> 00:29:33,340
Welcome back.

719
00:29:33,374 --> 00:29:35,175
- You were sorely missed.
- Mhmm.

720
00:29:35,209 --> 00:29:36,110
- One more toast.
- Mhmm.

721
00:29:36,143 --> 00:29:37,211
- To Denise.
- (Clears throat)

722
00:29:37,244 --> 00:29:41,248
Who at this very moment
is right across the street.

723
00:29:41,282 --> 00:29:42,783
- Across the street?
- Yup.

724
00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,619
That's your new perspective?

725
00:29:44,653 --> 00:29:46,453
You just decided to stalk her?

726
00:29:46,487 --> 00:29:50,057
No, I simply am not waiting
for her to come back.

727
00:29:50,090 --> 00:29:51,091
No more waiting.

728
00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:52,226
I'm going to her.

729
00:29:52,259 --> 00:29:53,827
I called in at the florist
that she works at and said

730
00:29:53,861 --> 00:29:56,230
that she quit to go work
at Clara's Catering.

731
00:29:56,263 --> 00:29:57,565
I went over there.

732
00:29:57,599 --> 00:29:59,433
They said they're all working
at church function today.

733
00:29:59,466 --> 00:30:01,603
That church.

734
00:30:01,636 --> 00:30:04,673
So now you're gonna go
over there and just talk to her.

735
00:30:04,706 --> 00:30:06,608
- Yeah, I have to.
- Okay.

736
00:30:06,641 --> 00:30:09,243
David, there are only
a certain few things

737
00:30:09,276 --> 00:30:13,847
that people have to do in life;
shit, breathe, eat, and sleep.

738
00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:18,419
Emasculation, degradation,
uh-uh-uh-uh, humiliation,

739
00:30:18,452 --> 00:30:19,788
these are all totally voluntary.

740
00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,922
There's no talking me
out of this, okay?

741
00:30:21,955 --> 00:30:22,791
I have to go to her.

742
00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:24,224
I have to tell her
that I love her.

743
00:30:24,258 --> 00:30:25,326
That I would do
anything for her.

744
00:30:25,359 --> 00:30:26,695
That our love is magical.

745
00:30:26,728 --> 00:30:28,028
- Magical.
- (Laughing)

746
00:30:28,062 --> 00:30:29,096
Oh, yeah.

747
00:30:29,129 --> 00:30:30,632
Can you just get some more?

748
00:30:30,665 --> 00:30:35,670
David, where did you get
this profoundly unrealistic

749
00:30:35,704 --> 00:30:38,372
vision of love, man?

750
00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:39,306
You know, a year ago,

751
00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:40,441
I would have said
the same thing.

752
00:30:40,474 --> 00:30:41,609
I expressed the same thing
to Denise the night

753
00:30:41,643 --> 00:30:42,811
that she left me.

754
00:30:42,843 --> 00:30:45,714
But she was right
and I was wrong.

755
00:30:45,747 --> 00:30:47,281
She needs that movie moment
from me.

756
00:30:47,314 --> 00:30:48,482
MORRIS:
Mhmm.

757
00:30:48,516 --> 00:30:50,084
So, now you're gonna go
over there and see her.

758
00:30:50,117 --> 00:30:51,051
- Yeah.
- MORRIS: Yeah?

759
00:30:51,085 --> 00:30:52,286
Yeah!

760
00:30:52,319 --> 00:30:54,321
MORRIS: This grand gesture
of love that Denise cannot

761
00:30:54,355 --> 00:30:56,090
- possibly refuse.
- Yeah!

762
00:30:56,123 --> 00:30:56,890
- Yeah?
- Yeah!

763
00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:57,759
Yeah.

764
00:30:57,792 --> 00:31:00,027
Okay,
I've got news for you, Davie.

765
00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:02,262
Cupid does not exist.

766
00:31:02,296 --> 00:31:03,698
He doesn't, I'm sorry.

767
00:31:03,732 --> 00:31:05,466
And if he did,
he certainly wouldn't be

768
00:31:05,499 --> 00:31:08,603
some freak pudgy guy
in a diaper running around

769
00:31:08,636 --> 00:31:10,638
bringing people together
who are destined to spend

770
00:31:10,672 --> 00:31:12,306
eternity with one another.

771
00:31:12,339 --> 00:31:13,541
I mean, think about it.

772
00:31:13,575 --> 00:31:15,610
With divorce, adultery?

773
00:31:15,643 --> 00:31:18,412
As far as I am concerned,
he is a sick sadistic loser

774
00:31:18,445 --> 00:31:19,413
with a short guy complex.

775
00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:21,281
Hmmm.

776
00:31:21,315 --> 00:31:23,083
Okay.

777
00:31:23,117 --> 00:31:23,917
Look.

778
00:31:23,951 --> 00:31:26,420
If you're really set
on doing this,

779
00:31:26,453 --> 00:31:28,322
then just do it right.

780
00:31:28,355 --> 00:31:30,357
Talk to her,
lay it all on the line,

781
00:31:30,391 --> 00:31:35,663
but whatever happens,
you got to live with it, yeah?

782
00:31:35,697 --> 00:31:36,897
Jesus Christ.

783
00:31:36,930 --> 00:31:38,098
Okay.

784
00:31:38,132 --> 00:31:43,103
Darling, will you please,
please keep the drinks coming.

785
00:31:43,137 --> 00:31:45,272
Thank you.

786
00:31:45,305 --> 00:31:46,273
(Clears throat)

787
00:31:46,306 --> 00:31:48,576
Well, if the booze
doesn't give you

788
00:31:48,610 --> 00:31:50,911
a little liquid courage,
then maybe you'll get lucky

789
00:31:50,944 --> 00:31:53,046
and pass out drunk
before you make it to the door.

790
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,082
(♪♪♪)

791
00:32:03,457 --> 00:32:04,859
Here's to happy endings!

792
00:32:08,095 --> 00:32:09,163
So you live around here?

793
00:32:16,403 --> 00:32:18,873
Are you trying to pick me up?

794
00:32:18,907 --> 00:32:20,207
What?

795
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,341
No, no.

796
00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:22,777
- (Laughs)
Of course not.

797
00:32:22,811 --> 00:32:25,045
Why do you wanna know
where I live?

798
00:32:25,078 --> 00:32:26,848
You wanna come around
and have a barbeque

799
00:32:26,881 --> 00:32:28,616
- or something?
- Trying to make conversation.

800
00:32:28,650 --> 00:32:29,818
ARCHIE:
Try harder.

801
00:32:29,851 --> 00:32:31,318
Sorry?

802
00:32:31,351 --> 00:32:32,821
Why are you sorry?

803
00:32:32,854 --> 00:32:36,056
Sorry about my attempt
to make conversation?

804
00:32:36,089 --> 00:32:39,661
Why should you be concerned
whether I find your conversation

805
00:32:39,694 --> 00:32:40,829
interesting or not?

806
00:32:40,862 --> 00:32:41,763
I'm not.

807
00:32:43,363 --> 00:32:44,231
Do I know you?

808
00:32:44,264 --> 00:32:46,033
Do you think you know me?

809
00:32:46,066 --> 00:32:47,201
No, but...

810
00:32:47,234 --> 00:32:48,969
Then you probably don't.

811
00:32:49,002 --> 00:32:55,209
(♪♪♪)

812
00:32:55,242 --> 00:32:57,377
Don't you have to do
something somewhere?

813
00:32:57,411 --> 00:32:59,046
Ah...

814
00:32:59,079 --> 00:33:00,147
Oh!

815
00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:01,048
Yeah.

816
00:33:01,081 --> 00:33:03,551
Then go do it.

817
00:33:03,585 --> 00:33:05,085
Yeah.

818
00:33:06,086 --> 00:33:07,789
(Groans)

819
00:33:16,129 --> 00:33:19,032
(Bell tolling)

820
00:33:23,571 --> 00:33:25,573
(♪♪♪)

821
00:33:46,528 --> 00:33:47,629
Excuse me.

822
00:33:47,662 --> 00:33:49,797
I'm looking for Denise,
Denise Rubino?

823
00:33:49,831 --> 00:33:51,533
Someone said
she was working here today?

824
00:33:51,566 --> 00:33:53,033
Not today she isn't.

825
00:33:55,068 --> 00:33:57,304
Hey, I just said
she wasn't working today.

826
00:33:57,337 --> 00:33:59,507
I didn't say she wasn't here.

827
00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:02,476
Be careful,
this place is a maze.

828
00:34:02,510 --> 00:34:04,378
You may not find your way back.

829
00:34:08,816 --> 00:34:11,920
(Women giggling)

830
00:34:15,122 --> 00:34:16,791
BEST FRIEND:
Well, was I right?

831
00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:18,726
She looks like a fairy tale.

832
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:19,561
BRIDESMAIDS:
Aw.

833
00:34:19,594 --> 00:34:22,030
(All giggling)

834
00:34:22,062 --> 00:34:24,298
(Screaming)

835
00:34:24,331 --> 00:34:27,434
Oh shit!

836
00:34:27,467 --> 00:34:28,703
What was that?

837
00:34:31,338 --> 00:34:34,509
(Groaning)

838
00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:36,209
David?

839
00:34:36,243 --> 00:34:37,745
David Steinbeck.

840
00:34:37,779 --> 00:34:39,013
MORRIS:
Oh God.

841
00:34:39,047 --> 00:34:40,213
Oh, boy.

842
00:34:40,247 --> 00:34:41,049
Dave?

843
00:34:41,081 --> 00:34:42,684
(Groans)

844
00:34:42,717 --> 00:34:43,651
Excuse me.

845
00:34:43,685 --> 00:34:44,752
How long has he been like this?

846
00:34:44,786 --> 00:34:48,121
About half hour, 45 minutes?

847
00:34:48,155 --> 00:34:50,625
Maybe he's autistic
or something.

848
00:34:50,658 --> 00:34:52,259
PTSD.

849
00:34:52,292 --> 00:34:54,729
My uncle looked just like that
when he came back from Nam.

850
00:34:54,762 --> 00:34:56,463
When you're finished
diagnosing the patient,

851
00:34:56,496 --> 00:34:57,899
can I have another one?

852
00:34:57,932 --> 00:34:59,466
- Hmm.
- Hey.

853
00:34:59,499 --> 00:35:00,467
Hi, it's me Morris.

854
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,436
Try to remember why you left me
the voicemail?

855
00:35:02,469 --> 00:35:04,939
All I could make out
was some grunting and something

856
00:35:04,973 --> 00:35:06,440
about fucking Faye Dunaway.

857
00:35:06,473 --> 00:35:07,909
Denise's fucking wedding day.

858
00:35:07,942 --> 00:35:08,843
What?
Come again?

859
00:35:08,876 --> 00:35:12,412
Denise's fucking wedding day!

860
00:35:12,446 --> 00:35:14,882
Oh.

861
00:35:14,916 --> 00:35:16,884
I mean, that does sound
like fucking Faye Dunaway.

862
00:35:16,918 --> 00:35:18,251
(Dave breathes deeply)

863
00:35:18,285 --> 00:35:19,453
She's getting married.

864
00:35:19,486 --> 00:35:22,724
Morris, she's getting married
in just a couple of hours.

865
00:35:22,757 --> 00:35:24,792
MORRIS: What did she
say when she saw you?

866
00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:26,861
She didn't see me, I ran away.

867
00:35:26,894 --> 00:35:28,763
Yeah, play hard to get, that's...

868
00:35:28,796 --> 00:35:31,298
Well, listen, Dave.

869
00:35:31,331 --> 00:35:32,800
I know this won't
make sense right now

870
00:35:32,834 --> 00:35:34,836
and it might not make sense
for a very long time

871
00:35:34,869 --> 00:35:36,704
but I promise,
this is the best thing

872
00:35:36,738 --> 00:35:39,139
that could ever happened to you.

873
00:35:39,172 --> 00:35:41,241
My soul mate is getting married
and you think

874
00:35:41,274 --> 00:35:43,544
that this the best thing
that could ever happen to me?

875
00:35:43,578 --> 00:35:44,712
Yeah, I absolutely do.

876
00:35:44,746 --> 00:35:46,446
- And you wanna know why?
- No!

877
00:35:48,783 --> 00:35:51,886
Why is she marrying
someone else?

878
00:35:51,919 --> 00:35:54,889
This is just a stab
in the dark, but,

879
00:35:54,922 --> 00:35:56,824
I mean, maybe she is in love
with the guy.

880
00:35:56,858 --> 00:35:59,493
Oh, no, no.

881
00:35:59,527 --> 00:36:00,828
(Groaning)

882
00:36:00,862 --> 00:36:01,863
(Sighs)

883
00:36:01,896 --> 00:36:03,163
All right, you know what?
Let's go.

884
00:36:03,196 --> 00:36:04,799
We got to get you
at least a 100 feet away

885
00:36:04,832 --> 00:36:06,134
from wherever Denise
is getting married.

886
00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:07,434
- All right.
- Come on.

887
00:36:07,467 --> 00:36:08,603
You have to help me
to the men's room first.

888
00:36:08,636 --> 00:36:09,704
I'mma throw up.

889
00:36:09,737 --> 00:36:10,938
MORRIS:
Okay, we can do that.

890
00:36:10,972 --> 00:36:12,573
We can do that.

891
00:36:12,607 --> 00:36:14,042
Here we go.
Come on.

892
00:36:14,075 --> 00:36:14,809
Oh, boy.

893
00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,544
Come on.

894
00:36:16,577 --> 00:36:17,845
Okay.

895
00:36:17,879 --> 00:36:18,846
There we go.

896
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,014
There we go.

897
00:36:25,252 --> 00:36:28,221
ARCHIE: Well, ain't it just
nice to have someone to lean on

898
00:36:28,255 --> 00:36:29,857
in time of need.

899
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,629
Weren't you just sitting down
at the bar?

900
00:36:34,662 --> 00:36:36,030
You're the piss monitor?

901
00:36:36,064 --> 00:36:37,031
No.

902
00:36:37,065 --> 00:36:40,034
I just... I didn't see you
get up or walk by.

903
00:36:40,068 --> 00:36:41,903
I'm the fucking invisible man.

904
00:36:41,936 --> 00:36:43,538
Now, can I get past you
to my drink, please

905
00:36:43,571 --> 00:36:46,941
or do I have to wait
until he pukes on my kicks?

906
00:36:50,545 --> 00:36:53,313
- Excuse me.
- Okay.

907
00:36:53,346 --> 00:36:54,448
Okay.

908
00:36:54,481 --> 00:36:55,616
There you go.

909
00:36:55,650 --> 00:36:57,118
Oh.
Oh, boy.

910
00:36:59,020 --> 00:37:00,588
Hold your ponytail.

911
00:37:03,457 --> 00:37:04,324
Yup.

912
00:37:04,357 --> 00:37:06,961
Try not to fall in
when you bend over.

913
00:37:11,099 --> 00:37:13,034
Somebody forget to flush.

914
00:37:13,067 --> 00:37:14,068
Let's get out of here.

915
00:37:14,102 --> 00:37:15,335
I thought you want to throw up.

916
00:37:15,368 --> 00:37:17,672
I'm fine.
Let's get out of here.

917
00:37:17,705 --> 00:37:18,573
I thought you had to throw up.

918
00:37:18,606 --> 00:37:19,707
I'm fine.
Let's go, now!

919
00:37:19,741 --> 00:37:20,942
Whoa, whoa.
What did you see?

920
00:37:20,975 --> 00:37:22,375
What's in the stall, man?

921
00:37:27,782 --> 00:37:28,716
(Screaming)

922
00:37:28,750 --> 00:37:29,650
Oh, God!

923
00:37:29,684 --> 00:37:32,854
Who the hell is that?

924
00:37:32,887 --> 00:37:33,888
Why is he wearing a tuxedo?

925
00:37:33,921 --> 00:37:35,156
I... I don't know!
Okay?

926
00:37:35,189 --> 00:37:36,624
Let's just go before the same
thing happens to us!

927
00:37:36,657 --> 00:37:37,859
Who would do that to us?

928
00:37:37,892 --> 00:37:39,392
Jesus, who would do that to him?

929
00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:40,862
You're the gambler but my money
is on the crazy

930
00:37:40,895 --> 00:37:42,329
English fucker at the bar!

931
00:37:42,362 --> 00:37:43,698
The guy who came out
as we were coming in.

932
00:37:43,731 --> 00:37:44,832
No way.

933
00:37:44,866 --> 00:37:48,569
But I bet you're right.

934
00:37:48,603 --> 00:37:49,436
What?

935
00:37:51,005 --> 00:37:52,206
Would you come?

936
00:37:55,877 --> 00:37:57,310
(Gasps)

937
00:37:57,344 --> 00:37:58,579
MORRIS: Okay, but why would
he still be sitting out there

938
00:37:58,613 --> 00:38:00,081
if nothing happened?

939
00:38:00,114 --> 00:38:01,314
Wait, what if we're wrong?

940
00:38:01,348 --> 00:38:03,217
What if he just had
to go to bathroom

941
00:38:03,251 --> 00:38:05,153
and doesn't even know anything
about the other guy in here.

942
00:38:05,186 --> 00:38:06,419
Do you really wanna stay
and find out?

943
00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:09,824
What? We can't just walk
right out past him now.

944
00:38:09,857 --> 00:38:11,058
If he did do it,
then he will assume

945
00:38:11,092 --> 00:38:11,993
that we saw something.

946
00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:13,528
DAVE:
Shit, he's coming.

947
00:38:13,561 --> 00:38:14,494
MORRIS:
Go, go!

948
00:38:14,529 --> 00:38:15,630
He's coming.

949
00:38:15,663 --> 00:38:16,831
(Clattering)

950
00:38:16,864 --> 00:38:17,965
Oh, okay.

951
00:38:17,999 --> 00:38:18,866
Let's find...

952
00:38:18,900 --> 00:38:20,433
Window!
Window now!

953
00:38:20,467 --> 00:38:21,769
Houdini couldn't escape
through that.

954
00:38:21,803 --> 00:38:23,504
Okay. But maybe if we're lucky,
he will think that we did.

955
00:38:23,538 --> 00:38:24,906
Goddamnit!

956
00:38:24,939 --> 00:38:26,373
Hide in there.

957
00:38:26,406 --> 00:38:28,075
Whoo!
Okay.

958
00:38:28,109 --> 00:38:28,943
We need weapons.

959
00:38:28,976 --> 00:38:30,477
Yeah.

960
00:38:30,511 --> 00:38:31,746
Ha-ha!

961
00:38:31,779 --> 00:38:32,947
Why do you get the plunger?
What the hell am I gonna use?

962
00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:34,081
The power of your love
for Denise.

963
00:38:34,115 --> 00:38:35,016
I don't give a shit.

964
00:38:35,049 --> 00:38:36,483
Oh, shit,
he's gonna see our feet.

965
00:38:36,517 --> 00:38:37,885
Get up!
Get up.

966
00:38:37,919 --> 00:38:38,953
DAVE:
Oh, shit.

967
00:38:38,986 --> 00:38:40,521
I don't wanna die like this,
stuck in a...

968
00:38:40,555 --> 00:38:42,824
a dirty bathroom stall
of a dive bar with you.

969
00:38:42,857 --> 00:38:45,092
Shhh.
Shut, shh.

970
00:38:45,126 --> 00:38:46,594
(Door clicks open)

971
00:38:50,832 --> 00:38:52,266
(Door bangs)

972
00:38:58,806 --> 00:39:00,808
ARCHIE:
Oh, my.

973
00:39:00,842 --> 00:39:05,279
Those two must have escaped out
of this narrow little window.

974
00:39:05,313 --> 00:39:07,480
I guess I better leave now.

975
00:39:07,515 --> 00:39:11,484
But first,
I'll use the bathroom.

976
00:39:11,519 --> 00:39:12,520
This stall is taken.

977
00:39:12,553 --> 00:39:14,589
(Sighs)

978
00:39:14,622 --> 00:39:15,957
DAVE:
Yah!

979
00:39:30,470 --> 00:39:33,074
(Grunting)

980
00:39:37,912 --> 00:39:40,114
De toilet.

981
00:39:40,147 --> 00:39:41,349
The toilet!

982
00:39:41,381 --> 00:39:42,783
- What does it mean?
- It just seemed...

983
00:39:42,817 --> 00:39:45,186
Get the fuck out of that toilet!

984
00:39:47,021 --> 00:39:48,522
(Morris groans)

985
00:39:48,556 --> 00:39:50,324
Please, don't kill us.

986
00:39:50,358 --> 00:39:51,659
Why would I want to kill you?

987
00:39:51,692 --> 00:39:52,994
Ah, well, I've...

988
00:39:53,027 --> 00:39:54,362
All right, listen, mister.

989
00:39:54,394 --> 00:39:55,495
Mister?

990
00:39:55,529 --> 00:39:57,164
- Archie.
- Okay.

991
00:39:57,198 --> 00:39:58,933
- Archie.
- Okay, Archie.

992
00:39:58,966 --> 00:40:00,368
- Archie.
- MORRIS: Archie.

993
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,639
The guy in the stall,
you didn't, did you?

994
00:40:04,672 --> 00:40:06,807
Yes, I did.

995
00:40:06,841 --> 00:40:08,142
- Why?
- ARCHIE: For you, Dave.

996
00:40:08,175 --> 00:40:09,409
For me?
What are you talking about?

997
00:40:09,442 --> 00:40:10,711
I don't even know who that is.

998
00:40:10,745 --> 00:40:12,246
You don't know who that is?

999
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,082
He is absolutely pivotal
to your future happiness

1000
00:40:15,116 --> 00:40:16,784
and you don't know who he is.

1001
00:40:16,817 --> 00:40:19,186
(Door opens)

1002
00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:20,788
I'm terribly sorry, sir.

1003
00:40:20,821 --> 00:40:21,789
Sir, we're cleaning here.

1004
00:40:21,822 --> 00:40:22,990
I got to go!

1005
00:40:23,024 --> 00:40:24,959
We've all got to go
sometimes, sir.

1006
00:40:24,992 --> 00:40:27,094
You probably sooner than most.

1007
00:40:29,764 --> 00:40:31,198
Right.

1008
00:40:31,232 --> 00:40:32,199
Now, where was I?

1009
00:40:32,233 --> 00:40:33,200
The... the...
the guy in the stall.

1010
00:40:33,234 --> 00:40:34,335
Ah, yes, yes, yes!

1011
00:40:34,368 --> 00:40:36,337
The guy in the stall.

1012
00:40:36,370 --> 00:40:37,838
Right.

1013
00:40:37,872 --> 00:40:40,041
Meet Henry.

1014
00:40:40,074 --> 00:40:42,143
- Henry Cherkis.
- Henry Cherkis?

1015
00:40:42,176 --> 00:40:43,443
Who the hell is Henry Cherkis?

1016
00:40:43,476 --> 00:40:46,580
Henry Cherkis as in
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Cherkis

1017
00:40:46,614 --> 00:40:48,215
or more specifically,

1018
00:40:48,249 --> 00:40:52,920
Mr. and Mrs. Henry
and Denise Cherkis.

1019
00:40:52,954 --> 00:40:54,121
Holy shit!

1020
00:40:54,155 --> 00:40:56,557
Holy shit!

1021
00:40:56,590 --> 00:40:58,225
Uh...

1022
00:40:58,259 --> 00:41:00,027
This is the guy
that Denise is marrying?

1023
00:41:00,061 --> 00:41:01,762
ARCHIE:
Yep, in about three hours' time.

1024
00:41:01,796 --> 00:41:02,730
Mind you,
I think you're a lot

1025
00:41:02,763 --> 00:41:03,831
cuter than him.

1026
00:41:03,864 --> 00:41:06,067
Okay, that explains the tux.

1027
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:07,435
It doesn't explain
why you beat him,

1028
00:41:07,467 --> 00:41:09,370
tied him up,
and brought him here.

1029
00:41:09,403 --> 00:41:12,373
Well, of course, it does,
so that she wouldn't marry him.

1030
00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:13,741
I mean, how are you going
to get her back

1031
00:41:13,774 --> 00:41:15,609
if she gets married?

1032
00:41:15,643 --> 00:41:17,912
- I still don't understand.
- What?

1033
00:41:17,945 --> 00:41:19,814
This isn't brain surgery.

1034
00:41:19,847 --> 00:41:23,684
Look, you cannot have
a marriage if the groom

1035
00:41:23,718 --> 00:41:25,052
is not there.

1036
00:41:25,086 --> 00:41:26,387
- Am I right?
- Yeah, uh, yeah.

1037
00:41:26,420 --> 00:41:29,223
I think I see
what you're trying to do here.

1038
00:41:29,256 --> 00:41:32,360
So you see, Dave,
this is your great opportunity.

1039
00:41:32,393 --> 00:41:34,895
You are going to have a chance
to do something

1040
00:41:34,929 --> 00:41:38,532
that very few men in life
ever get the chance to do.

1041
00:41:38,566 --> 00:41:41,869
You have a chance
of bringing back the one

1042
00:41:41,902 --> 00:41:45,172
that got away and taking her
on the very day that she's due

1043
00:41:45,206 --> 00:41:48,309
to get married to somebody else.

1044
00:41:48,342 --> 00:41:50,444
Wow!
Isn't that exciting?

1045
00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:52,780
Hey!
I think it's exciting!

1046
00:41:52,813 --> 00:41:54,548
Wow.
Right?

1047
00:41:54,582 --> 00:41:55,316
Oh.

1048
00:41:55,349 --> 00:41:57,885
Excuse me, one moment.

1049
00:41:57,918 --> 00:41:58,919
Ooh.

1050
00:41:58,953 --> 00:42:00,488
Okay, I...
I still don't understand

1051
00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:02,123
how you know about me
and Denise.

1052
00:42:02,156 --> 00:42:03,357
Come on, Dave.

1053
00:42:03,391 --> 00:42:06,060
For God's sake, man.

1054
00:42:06,093 --> 00:42:07,328
Look!

1055
00:42:07,361 --> 00:42:11,665
Why does it matter
if how I know what I know, hey?

1056
00:42:11,699 --> 00:42:12,666
Of course, it matters.

1057
00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,435
You nearly beat someone
to death on my behalf

1058
00:42:14,468 --> 00:42:16,404
and I don't even know
who you are or why you did it.

1059
00:42:16,437 --> 00:42:19,940
On the first point,
I did not beat him to death,

1060
00:42:19,974 --> 00:42:21,510
I merely rendered
him unconscious.

1061
00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:23,577
Secondly, you know my name!

1062
00:42:23,611 --> 00:42:25,312
And thirdly,
you know what I want to do.

1063
00:42:25,346 --> 00:42:28,149
Now, any more information
is totally superfluous.

1064
00:42:28,182 --> 00:42:29,850
Look, I don't want
any part of this, okay?

1065
00:42:29,884 --> 00:42:34,655
So just let us go
and get that guy in there.

1066
00:42:34,688 --> 00:42:35,322
Henry, Henry.

1067
00:42:35,356 --> 00:42:36,490
- Henry.
- Yeah.

1068
00:42:36,525 --> 00:42:39,827
Some help and I...
we'll uh, just uh, you know,

1069
00:42:39,860 --> 00:42:40,728
forget we ever saw this.

1070
00:42:40,761 --> 00:42:45,132
Oh, I... unfortunately,
I don't think

1071
00:42:45,166 --> 00:42:47,234
we're ever gonna forget this.

1072
00:42:47,268 --> 00:42:50,404
You know,
you're really worrying me

1073
00:42:50,438 --> 00:42:53,307
because right at the moment,
I... I... I'm...

1074
00:42:53,340 --> 00:42:55,776
I confess I'm surprised
by your response.

1075
00:42:55,810 --> 00:42:57,044
Surprised?

1076
00:42:57,078 --> 00:42:59,046
You expect me to bring
the gasoline to torch his body?

1077
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,448
Whoa, whoa, okay.

1078
00:43:00,481 --> 00:43:03,150
Archie,
not that Dave is not grateful

1079
00:43:03,184 --> 00:43:05,486
and this isn't a tremendous
gesture of...

1080
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:06,887
of support on your part,

1081
00:43:06,921 --> 00:43:08,189
but what I think
Dave is saying...

1082
00:43:08,222 --> 00:43:10,825
I don't give a fuck
what Dave thinks

1083
00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:13,661
he's trying to say.

1084
00:43:13,694 --> 00:43:16,097
Nor do I appreciate
any assistance from somebody

1085
00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,898
who has to rely
on a complete stranger

1086
00:43:17,932 --> 00:43:20,968
to do the job that she should
have done herself

1087
00:43:21,001 --> 00:43:22,703
for her best friend.

1088
00:43:22,736 --> 00:43:26,607
You expected me
to kidnap the groom?

1089
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,142
Oh.
Was I supposed to do that?

1090
00:43:28,175 --> 00:43:29,310
No!
No!

1091
00:43:29,343 --> 00:43:30,377
Of course, not!
This guy is insane.

1092
00:43:30,411 --> 00:43:31,045
I would do...
I would do anything for you!

1093
00:43:31,078 --> 00:43:32,179
Stop! Stop! Stop!

1094
00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:33,114
All right, all right, all right.

1095
00:43:33,147 --> 00:43:34,081
(Exhales)

1096
00:43:34,115 --> 00:43:35,584
Let's just...

1097
00:43:35,616 --> 00:43:36,817
I don't want any part of this.

1098
00:43:36,851 --> 00:43:37,685
ARCHIE:
Part of this?

1099
00:43:37,718 --> 00:43:40,921
Oh, Dave,
you're the whole of this.

1100
00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:41,922
Bullshit!

1101
00:43:43,724 --> 00:43:46,827
Okay. I didn't do this,
you did.

1102
00:43:46,861 --> 00:43:48,563
Let's get out of here.
I'm calling the cops.

1103
00:43:48,597 --> 00:43:49,897
Okay.

1104
00:43:49,930 --> 00:43:50,931
You go call the cops.

1105
00:43:50,965 --> 00:43:54,168
And in the meantime,
I'm gonna drown Henry here

1106
00:43:54,201 --> 00:43:55,504
in the toilet.

1107
00:43:56,871 --> 00:44:01,675
By the time the cops get here,
poor Henry is going to be dead.

1108
00:44:01,709 --> 00:44:02,676
(Clicks tongue)

1109
00:44:02,710 --> 00:44:04,812
And then you're gonna have
a little dilemma,

1110
00:44:04,845 --> 00:44:08,315
aren't you,
because I'm going to tell them

1111
00:44:08,349 --> 00:44:11,752
that I saw you dragging him
into the toilet.

1112
00:44:11,785 --> 00:44:16,558
And you,
the demented, obsessive,

1113
00:44:16,591 --> 00:44:22,096
possessive ex-boyfriend
of the divine and lovely Denise

1114
00:44:22,129 --> 00:44:27,768
is going to have to explain
how her husband-to-be

1115
00:44:27,801 --> 00:44:32,873
ended up dead meeting you
on the very morning

1116
00:44:32,907 --> 00:44:35,242
of their marriage.

1117
00:44:35,276 --> 00:44:37,077
- We are fucked.
- How can we be fucked, okay?

1118
00:44:37,111 --> 00:44:38,045
(Stutters)

1119
00:44:38,078 --> 00:44:39,180
This is all his doing.

1120
00:44:39,213 --> 00:44:40,214
We didn't do any of this.

1121
00:44:40,247 --> 00:44:41,415
I know that and you know that,

1122
00:44:41,448 --> 00:44:46,253
but even I would believe
his story over ours.

1123
00:44:46,287 --> 00:44:47,589
Why are you doing this to me?

1124
00:44:47,622 --> 00:44:50,991
All's fair in love and war.

1125
00:44:51,025 --> 00:44:53,227
And you want to know why?

1126
00:44:53,260 --> 00:44:54,862
There's not much difference
between the two.

1127
00:44:54,895 --> 00:44:56,397
What the hell
does that even mean?

1128
00:44:56,430 --> 00:45:00,000
What it means is this,
you do whatever you can,

1129
00:45:00,034 --> 00:45:06,106
whenever you can,
however you can in order to win.

1130
00:45:06,140 --> 00:45:08,309
True that.

1131
00:45:08,342 --> 00:45:10,612
Every gambler is looking
for a competitive edge.

1132
00:45:10,645 --> 00:45:11,546
And what's your edge?

1133
00:45:11,580 --> 00:45:13,280
Let me show you your edge.

1134
00:45:13,314 --> 00:45:14,616
This is Henry here.

1135
00:45:14,649 --> 00:45:18,252
Henry here is your main rival
for Denise's affections.

1136
00:45:18,285 --> 00:45:19,887
And as we can see...

1137
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,789
(Laughs)

1138
00:45:21,822 --> 00:45:25,059
Henry here is in no position
to fight you over her.

1139
00:45:25,092 --> 00:45:26,060
Am I right, Henry?

1140
00:45:26,093 --> 00:45:27,728
Am I right?

1141
00:45:27,761 --> 00:45:28,996
Okay.

1142
00:45:29,029 --> 00:45:30,064
Good boy.

1143
00:45:30,097 --> 00:45:31,198
Nice job.

1144
00:45:31,232 --> 00:45:32,534
Nice job.

1145
00:45:32,567 --> 00:45:37,871
So instead of hanging around
and bitching and moaning,

1146
00:45:37,905 --> 00:45:39,873
why don't you take
this opportunity

1147
00:45:39,907 --> 00:45:42,644
that presents itself
and get back the girl

1148
00:45:42,677 --> 00:45:44,579
you claimed
that you are in love with?

1149
00:45:44,613 --> 00:45:45,779
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1150
00:45:45,813 --> 00:45:47,381
I'm sure the kidnapping
and beating of her fiancé

1151
00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:49,183
is exactly the thing
that's gonna convince her

1152
00:45:49,216 --> 00:45:52,152
that she should be with me.

1153
00:45:52,186 --> 00:45:56,290
It is a little romantic.

1154
00:45:56,323 --> 00:45:57,559
What?

1155
00:45:57,592 --> 00:45:59,393
Shakespearean, really,
even if you think about it.

1156
00:45:59,426 --> 00:46:00,562
Stop talking, Morris.

1157
00:46:00,595 --> 00:46:03,998
A guy willing to go
to this extreme to win back

1158
00:46:04,031 --> 00:46:04,765
the woman that he loves.

1159
00:46:04,798 --> 00:46:07,901
Oh, fantastic attitude, Morris!

1160
00:46:07,935 --> 00:46:08,902
Huh, thank you!

1161
00:46:08,936 --> 00:46:09,738
ARCHIE:
Whoa!

1162
00:46:09,770 --> 00:46:10,572
Archie.

1163
00:46:10,605 --> 00:46:12,139
ARCHIE:
Yeah.

1164
00:46:12,172 --> 00:46:13,974
Come on.

1165
00:46:14,008 --> 00:46:15,776
We're talking about assault
and kidnapping here.

1166
00:46:15,809 --> 00:46:18,580
Are you saying that you do not
want Denise back?

1167
00:46:18,613 --> 00:46:19,581
Of cour... I do... I...

1168
00:46:19,614 --> 00:46:20,781
Because you said
you'd do anything

1169
00:46:20,814 --> 00:46:22,517
- to get her back.
- I would, I...

1170
00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:23,951
Ah, but you didn't
actually mean that.

1171
00:46:23,984 --> 00:46:25,553
- DAVE: I did.
- No, no, no, no, no.

1172
00:46:25,587 --> 00:46:27,689
What you meant was
you would do anything

1173
00:46:27,722 --> 00:46:33,060
as long as it was simple,
neat, and nobody got hurt.

1174
00:46:33,093 --> 00:46:34,562
DAVE: Yeah.
Is there something wrong with that?

1175
00:46:34,596 --> 00:46:35,996
Oh, there's nothing wrong
with that at all.

1176
00:46:36,030 --> 00:46:39,199
Except for the fact
that the bloody world

1177
00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:40,669
doesn't work that way!

1178
00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:44,405
This is the way the world
fucking works!

1179
00:46:44,438 --> 00:46:46,440
(Dave grunting)

1180
00:46:46,473 --> 00:46:50,344
You pollyannish shithead!

1181
00:46:50,377 --> 00:46:53,447
(Duck quacking ringtone)

1182
00:46:59,953 --> 00:47:01,790
Nobody curious?

1183
00:47:15,537 --> 00:47:16,403
MORRIS:
It's from Denise.

1184
00:47:16,437 --> 00:47:18,405
Oh, no!

1185
00:47:18,439 --> 00:47:20,107
Ooh!

1186
00:47:20,140 --> 00:47:24,044
"Know I made you promise
not to see me before wedding

1187
00:47:24,078 --> 00:47:25,846
but where are you?

1188
00:47:25,879 --> 00:47:28,349
You should
have been here by now.

1189
00:47:28,382 --> 00:47:29,751


1190
00:47:29,784 --> 00:47:30,819
LOL."

1191
00:47:30,851 --> 00:47:32,252
Oh, L-O-L.

1192
00:47:32,286 --> 00:47:32,953
I love that.

1193
00:47:32,986 --> 00:47:33,987
Oh!

1194
00:47:34,021 --> 00:47:35,590
Oh, wow!

1195
00:47:35,623 --> 00:47:40,194
And she's given him
an emoji kissy face.

1196
00:47:40,227 --> 00:47:41,362
(Imitates smooching sound)

1197
00:47:41,395 --> 00:47:42,831
Oh, I fucking love those.

1198
00:47:42,863 --> 00:47:44,064
Do you get a lot of those?

1199
00:47:44,098 --> 00:47:45,199
(Imitates smooching sound)

1200
00:47:45,232 --> 00:47:46,634
(Laughing)

1201
00:47:46,668 --> 00:47:48,469
Oh, I love it.

1202
00:47:48,502 --> 00:47:50,137
Does she ever do that with you?

1203
00:47:50,170 --> 00:47:51,438
ARCHIE:
Hey, Dave!

1204
00:47:51,472 --> 00:47:55,142
How about we send Denise
a nice message?

1205
00:47:55,175 --> 00:47:57,812
L-O-L.

1206
00:47:57,846 --> 00:47:58,513
(Grunts)

1207
00:47:58,546 --> 00:47:59,380
DAVE:
Stop, stop, stop!

1208
00:47:59,413 --> 00:48:00,347
(Grunting)

1209
00:48:00,381 --> 00:48:01,516
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

1210
00:48:01,549 --> 00:48:02,650
Look.
Okay.

1211
00:48:02,684 --> 00:48:05,553
Look, I appreciate
what you're doing,

1212
00:48:05,587 --> 00:48:06,688
I really do.
Thank you.

1213
00:48:06,721 --> 00:48:10,525
You're... you're very terrific,
obviously insane,

1214
00:48:10,558 --> 00:48:12,727
but caring guy to take the time
to help me out,

1215
00:48:12,761 --> 00:48:15,764
but I've changed my mind.

1216
00:48:15,797 --> 00:48:17,998
I'm over Denise,
I don't want her anymore,

1217
00:48:18,031 --> 00:48:20,869
so just let him go.

1218
00:48:20,901 --> 00:48:22,570
We'll all go on our merry way.

1219
00:48:22,604 --> 00:48:24,238
Nobody's going
on their merry way.

1220
00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:25,507
No.

1221
00:48:25,540 --> 00:48:27,542
Oh, come on, Dave,
live in the real world.

1222
00:48:27,575 --> 00:48:28,942
Do you think Henry here
is gonna forget

1223
00:48:28,976 --> 00:48:31,546
all about this
if we close shop and run?

1224
00:48:31,579 --> 00:48:32,413
Yeah, he will.

1225
00:48:32,446 --> 00:48:34,348
You will, won't you?

1226
00:48:34,381 --> 00:48:35,449
See?

1227
00:48:35,482 --> 00:48:36,851
- You trust him?
- Yeah, sure.

1228
00:48:36,885 --> 00:48:38,485
Well, shouldn't you
get to know him a bit more

1229
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:39,554
before you trust him?

1230
00:48:39,587 --> 00:48:41,355
I... I don't think that
that's necessary.

1231
00:48:41,388 --> 00:48:42,757
Well, I do think it's necessary.

1232
00:48:42,791 --> 00:48:43,991
All right,
let's find a few

1233
00:48:44,024 --> 00:48:46,093
trust-making questions,
shall we?

1234
00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:48,696
Oh, one immediately
comes to mind.

1235
00:48:48,730 --> 00:48:52,433
Why don't you ask him
when did you start

1236
00:48:52,466 --> 00:48:54,168
fucking Denise?

1237
00:48:56,303 --> 00:48:57,204
What?

1238
00:48:57,237 --> 00:49:01,175
When did you start
sleeping with Denise?

1239
00:49:01,208 --> 00:49:02,510
I'm not asking him that.

1240
00:49:02,544 --> 00:49:05,045
Okay, okay,
let's try it a different way.

1241
00:49:05,078 --> 00:49:07,649
When did you
and Denise break up?

1242
00:49:07,682 --> 00:49:08,650
I don't remember.

1243
00:49:08,683 --> 00:49:09,349
(Mouths)
Come on.

1244
00:49:09,383 --> 00:49:11,218
(Archie laughs)

1245
00:49:11,251 --> 00:49:14,756
You obsess over this girl 24/7
and you can't remember

1246
00:49:14,789 --> 00:49:17,892
when you broke up?

1247
00:49:17,926 --> 00:49:20,194
Well, let's pull it up
the ether, shall we?

1248
00:49:20,227 --> 00:49:21,796
So say about 12 months ago.

1249
00:49:21,830 --> 00:49:22,630
How did you know that?

1250
00:49:22,664 --> 00:49:25,432
One question at a time, Dave.

1251
00:49:25,466 --> 00:49:27,501
And right now...

1252
00:49:27,535 --> 00:49:30,638
(Henry muffling)

1253
00:49:33,808 --> 00:49:37,946
Now, the pertinent question is

1254
00:49:37,978 --> 00:49:41,850
when did you first
start fucking Denise?

1255
00:49:43,450 --> 00:49:45,887
Henry, focus, focus,

1256
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,121
because I'm only gonna ask you
nicely once.

1257
00:49:49,791 --> 00:49:50,658
HENRY:
It's two years.

1258
00:49:50,692 --> 00:49:51,926
Two years ago.

1259
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,127
ARCHIE:
Two years ago?

1260
00:49:54,161 --> 00:49:56,096
Wait a minute, my maths.

1261
00:49:56,129 --> 00:49:58,967
Let's see,
that means you were fucking her

1262
00:49:58,999 --> 00:50:01,368
one year before she dumped you.

1263
00:50:01,401 --> 00:50:02,402
He's lying.

1264
00:50:02,436 --> 00:50:05,773
ARCHIE: Oh, he can't be
lying, you trust him.

1265
00:50:05,807 --> 00:50:07,441
Say you're lying,
you son of a bitch.

1266
00:50:07,474 --> 00:50:08,810
Admit that you're lying.

1267
00:50:08,843 --> 00:50:10,512
ARCHIE: Maybe we can ask him
a few more interesting...

1268
00:50:10,545 --> 00:50:11,813
- Say that you're lying!
- Hey! Hey!

1269
00:50:11,846 --> 00:50:12,780
All right, you can stop.

1270
00:50:12,814 --> 00:50:13,848
You made your point,
you can stop.

1271
00:50:13,882 --> 00:50:15,182
ARCHIE:
Oh, oh.

1272
00:50:15,215 --> 00:50:16,149
Okay.
All right.

1273
00:50:16,183 --> 00:50:17,619
No more questions.

1274
00:50:17,652 --> 00:50:19,253
Sorry, Henry,
that means we don't need

1275
00:50:19,286 --> 00:50:20,522
any more answers.

1276
00:50:20,555 --> 00:50:22,857
So thank you, Henry,
you did well.

1277
00:50:22,891 --> 00:50:24,692
You did very well.

1278
00:50:26,995 --> 00:50:27,929
(Sighs)

1279
00:50:27,962 --> 00:50:28,997
Who are you, for real?

1280
00:50:29,029 --> 00:50:30,932
I wanna know exactly
who you are.

1281
00:50:30,965 --> 00:50:31,966
Sincerely,
I don't think it's a good idea

1282
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,935
to mess with this guy, okay?

1283
00:50:33,968 --> 00:50:37,539
Is it okay to come in?

1284
00:50:37,572 --> 00:50:38,973
Just one more minute, sir.

1285
00:50:39,007 --> 00:50:40,073
Thank you.

1286
00:50:44,378 --> 00:50:46,413
Right, thank you.

1287
00:50:46,446 --> 00:50:47,749
I...

1288
00:50:53,287 --> 00:50:55,023
Good, good.

1289
00:50:59,326 --> 00:51:03,297
Okay, you can do this.

1290
00:51:03,330 --> 00:51:04,464
Good.

1291
00:51:04,498 --> 00:51:05,432
Good.

1292
00:51:08,036 --> 00:51:10,337
You can come in now, sir.

1293
00:51:10,370 --> 00:51:11,104
Come in, sir.

1294
00:51:11,138 --> 00:51:12,172
Come in.

1295
00:51:15,009 --> 00:51:17,444
Oh, pay no attention
to the girl.

1296
00:51:17,477 --> 00:51:19,313
This is a unisex bathroom.

1297
00:51:21,616 --> 00:51:23,183
Okay.

1298
00:51:23,216 --> 00:51:26,888
Feel free to launch
when necessary.

1299
00:51:26,921 --> 00:51:28,756
(Old man sighs)

1300
00:51:29,824 --> 00:51:30,858
ARCHIE:
Oh, I know that feeling.

1301
00:51:30,892 --> 00:51:32,860
- Oh.
- ARCHIE: Oh, yes.

1302
00:51:32,894 --> 00:51:35,597
Ah, don't worry about this
new crew in training.

1303
00:51:35,630 --> 00:51:37,599
Ah.

1304
00:51:37,632 --> 00:51:38,600
Going well, hey?

1305
00:51:38,633 --> 00:51:40,735
(Old man sighs)

1306
00:51:40,768 --> 00:51:43,671
ARCHIE:
Okay.

1307
00:51:43,705 --> 00:51:46,074
Are you still choking
that python, sir?

1308
00:51:46,106 --> 00:51:47,642
(Laughs)

1309
00:51:47,675 --> 00:51:49,811
Yes, sir,
you take your time.

1310
00:51:49,844 --> 00:51:52,412
OLD MAN:
Oh, I'm good.

1311
00:51:52,446 --> 00:51:53,280
- Good?
- OLD MAN: Yeah.

1312
00:51:53,313 --> 00:51:54,147
Yeah.

1313
00:51:54,181 --> 00:51:56,350
Yes!

1314
00:51:56,383 --> 00:51:57,518
Oh.

1315
00:51:57,552 --> 00:51:58,920
Boy, you needed that.

1316
00:51:58,953 --> 00:52:01,154
- Whoo.
- ARCHIE: Oh-ho.

1317
00:52:01,188 --> 00:52:02,489
Wash the hands.

1318
00:52:02,523 --> 00:52:04,291
Good, man.

1319
00:52:07,795 --> 00:52:10,230
For you, sir.

1320
00:52:10,263 --> 00:52:11,733
(Mouthing)
What the fuck is going on?

1321
00:52:11,766 --> 00:52:13,001
Allow me.

1322
00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:24,812
Why, thank you, sir.

1323
00:52:24,846 --> 00:52:26,179
Thank you.
Thank you.

1324
00:52:26,213 --> 00:52:30,150
And in return,
let me give you this.

1325
00:52:34,421 --> 00:52:36,189
It will bring you good luck.

1326
00:52:45,099 --> 00:52:47,234
You come back
in a few beers now.

1327
00:52:47,267 --> 00:52:48,402
(Exhales)

1328
00:52:48,435 --> 00:52:49,504
Oh, Jesus.

1329
00:52:49,537 --> 00:52:51,939
Right.

1330
00:52:51,973 --> 00:52:54,075
Now, very soon
we will have an avalanche

1331
00:52:54,108 --> 00:52:57,745
of happy-hour misfits
descending on the place.

1332
00:52:57,779 --> 00:53:02,684
So I think we should split
and then reconvene

1333
00:53:02,717 --> 00:53:05,553
somewhere else to consider
our next move.

1334
00:53:05,586 --> 00:53:06,521
Next move?

1335
00:53:06,554 --> 00:53:07,354
What next move?

1336
00:53:07,387 --> 00:53:09,222
Now, I think we'll use
your place.

1337
00:53:09,256 --> 00:53:10,892
We are not reconvening
at my place.

1338
00:53:10,925 --> 00:53:13,561
Yes. Now, my car is only
a little coupe,

1339
00:53:13,594 --> 00:53:14,829
won't take four.

1340
00:53:14,862 --> 00:53:15,963
The other one's had
a fender bender,

1341
00:53:15,997 --> 00:53:17,865
so we'll be using
your car as well.

1342
00:53:17,899 --> 00:53:20,200
Oh, and one more thing,
just in case you two

1343
00:53:20,233 --> 00:53:22,302
were thinking of doing
something stupid,

1344
00:53:22,335 --> 00:53:24,337
but you were hesitating
because you thought

1345
00:53:24,371 --> 00:53:25,606
that I might be armed.

1346
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,644
And yes, I am armed.

1347
00:53:29,677 --> 00:53:32,680
And this is not a toilet roll.

1348
00:53:32,714 --> 00:53:33,614
All right.

1349
00:53:33,648 --> 00:53:35,016
All right,
why don't we all go back

1350
00:53:35,049 --> 00:53:38,553
to your place and we will deal
with everything from there.

1351
00:53:38,586 --> 00:53:40,454
- Are we agreed on that?
- Yeah.

1352
00:53:40,487 --> 00:53:41,354
- Good.
- Agreed?

1353
00:53:41,388 --> 00:53:42,123
Ah-uh-uh...

1354
00:53:42,156 --> 00:53:43,256
What are we gonna do
with him?

1355
00:53:43,290 --> 00:53:45,093
Henry? Oh, we got to take Henry
with us.

1356
00:53:45,126 --> 00:53:46,561
I'm not bringing him back
to my apartment.

1357
00:53:46,594 --> 00:53:50,031
I promise you he will not bleed
on your upholstery,

1358
00:53:50,064 --> 00:53:51,498
- will you, Henry?
- (Henry groans)

1359
00:53:51,532 --> 00:53:53,366
See? Right.

1360
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,335
Okay.

1361
00:53:55,368 --> 00:53:57,337
Untie him now.

1362
00:53:57,370 --> 00:53:58,005
Come on!
Untie him!

1363
00:53:58,039 --> 00:53:59,140
MORRIS:
Oh, Jesus.

1364
00:53:59,173 --> 00:54:00,775
Well, how are we gonna
get him out of here

1365
00:54:00,808 --> 00:54:01,876
without attracting attention?

1366
00:54:01,909 --> 00:54:04,244
You think anyone would notice
in this place?

1367
00:54:04,277 --> 00:54:06,246
However,
this is what we're going to do.

1368
00:54:06,279 --> 00:54:09,817
Henry and I are going
to very calmly walk out of here.

1369
00:54:09,851 --> 00:54:12,186
Of course,
my gun is gonna be

1370
00:54:12,220 --> 00:54:14,254
in the base of his spine.

1371
00:54:14,287 --> 00:54:15,790
Right, Henry?

1372
00:54:15,823 --> 00:54:18,025
Okay.

1373
00:54:18,059 --> 00:54:20,260
You're not gonna scream
or shout or anything like that,

1374
00:54:20,293 --> 00:54:20,928
are you?

1375
00:54:20,962 --> 00:54:22,964
Good boy.

1376
00:54:22,997 --> 00:54:23,798
Thank you, Henry.

1377
00:54:23,831 --> 00:54:25,900
You don't need that anymore.

1378
00:54:25,933 --> 00:54:26,801
Okay?

1379
00:54:26,834 --> 00:54:29,302
Now, Henry, stand up.

1380
00:54:29,336 --> 00:54:30,337
Straight.

1381
00:54:30,370 --> 00:54:31,038
Very good.

1382
00:54:31,072 --> 00:54:32,907
Extend that arm.

1383
00:54:32,940 --> 00:54:33,875
All right.

1384
00:54:33,908 --> 00:54:35,042
Very good.

1385
00:54:35,076 --> 00:54:39,046
Now, then, very slowly,
like old friend.

1386
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:40,248
- You're feeling good, Henry?
- HENRY: Yeah.

1387
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,082
- ARCHIE: Sure?
- HENRY: Mmm.

1388
00:54:41,115 --> 00:54:42,583
ARCHIE:
Good man.

1389
00:54:42,617 --> 00:54:45,153
1, 2...

1390
00:54:45,186 --> 00:54:49,924
Oh, uh now,
you two will count to 10

1391
00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:52,860
and follow calmly
walking through the front door,

1392
00:54:52,894 --> 00:54:53,828
okay?

1393
00:54:53,861 --> 00:54:56,329
Because I will be
counting as well

1394
00:54:56,363 --> 00:54:59,767
and you don't want me
to get to 11, right?

1395
00:54:59,801 --> 00:55:00,902
Right, Henry?

1396
00:55:00,935 --> 00:55:02,804
Right.

1397
00:55:02,837 --> 00:55:04,539
ARCHIE:
Good.

1398
00:55:04,572 --> 00:55:06,641
Come on, Henry.

1399
00:55:06,674 --> 00:55:09,409
Oh, Henry, a favor please?

1400
00:55:09,442 --> 00:55:11,045
Could you shut
this door behind you?

1401
00:55:11,078 --> 00:55:11,979
HENRY:
Yeah.

1402
00:55:12,013 --> 00:55:13,548
ARCHIE:
Thank you.

1403
00:55:13,581 --> 00:55:16,818
Manners maketh man.

1404
00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:17,685
And you...

1405
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,689
- (Dave groaning)
- Poof.

1406
00:55:21,722 --> 00:55:22,924
(Dave sighs)

1407
00:55:24,959 --> 00:55:27,195
7, 8, 9...

1408
00:55:29,496 --> 00:55:34,702
♪ Hooked on the sweet stuff
made me fly sugar high ♪

1409
00:55:34,735 --> 00:55:36,204
♪ Above the clouds ♪

1410
00:55:36,237 --> 00:55:40,942
♪ I got way too close
to the sun ♪

1411
00:55:40,975 --> 00:55:44,111
♪ That first kiss,
oh, we're done ♪

1412
00:55:44,145 --> 00:55:48,182
♪ Tell me, darling, was it fun
to smash my heart ♪

1413
00:55:48,216 --> 00:55:51,686
♪ And without concern,
you lit my fire ♪

1414
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:53,988
♪ And let me burn ♪

1415
00:55:54,021 --> 00:55:55,089
♪ Pricked ♪

1416
00:55:55,122 --> 00:55:57,024
♪ There's a glint in your eye ♪

1417
00:55:57,058 --> 00:55:58,259
♪ Pricked. ♪

1418
00:55:58,292 --> 00:55:59,994
ARCHIE: Great automobile
you've got here, Dave.

1419
00:56:00,027 --> 00:56:06,033
Myself, I've got a classic 1940
Ford Coupe, superb condition.

1420
00:56:06,067 --> 00:56:08,135
Could use a bigger trunk though.

1421
00:56:08,169 --> 00:56:11,371
- (Laughing)
- What do you say, Henry?

1422
00:56:11,404 --> 00:56:12,874
You know,
it's been some years

1423
00:56:12,907 --> 00:56:17,345
since I've been
in the car-buying market,

1424
00:56:17,377 --> 00:56:19,947
but I would like your opinion,
David.

1425
00:56:19,981 --> 00:56:21,849
How do you stand
on the question,

1426
00:56:21,883 --> 00:56:23,618
lease or buy?

1427
00:56:23,651 --> 00:56:25,485
Hmm?

1428
00:56:25,519 --> 00:56:26,754
We're in the middle
of a kidnapping

1429
00:56:26,787 --> 00:56:29,290
and you wanna know my opinion
on whether to buy or lease?

1430
00:56:29,323 --> 00:56:31,759
I think if I were shopping,
I would definitely be

1431
00:56:31,792 --> 00:56:33,194
a lease man.

1432
00:56:33,227 --> 00:56:35,596
You know, new and shiny
is wonderful but it wears off

1433
00:56:35,630 --> 00:56:38,266
and then you've got all
those maintenance costs.

1434
00:56:38,299 --> 00:56:40,067
Frankly, I think you
just better walk away

1435
00:56:40,101 --> 00:56:42,136
and leave all that bullshit.

1436
00:56:42,169 --> 00:56:43,504
- Lease man? Really?
- ARCHIE: Hmm.

1437
00:56:43,537 --> 00:56:45,773
Personally,
I think you're a crazy man.

1438
00:56:45,806 --> 00:56:46,874
ARCHIE:
Dave.

1439
00:56:46,908 --> 00:56:47,909
Dave, do be civil.

1440
00:56:47,942 --> 00:56:49,310
Come on now.

1441
00:56:49,343 --> 00:56:51,846
I'm just... I'm just trying
to conduct a nice conversation.

1442
00:56:51,879 --> 00:56:53,413
You wanna make conversation?

1443
00:56:53,446 --> 00:56:54,982
Isn't it about time you tell us
who you are?

1444
00:56:55,016 --> 00:56:56,416
I mean is this what you do
for a living?

1445
00:56:56,449 --> 00:56:57,618
(Laughs)

1446
00:56:57,652 --> 00:56:58,753
Living?

1447
00:56:58,786 --> 00:57:01,488
When you file a tax return
where it says profession,

1448
00:57:01,522 --> 00:57:04,491
do you put deranged violent
kidnapper in the name of love

1449
00:57:04,525 --> 00:57:07,361
or is torturing people
you don't know just a hobby?

1450
00:57:07,395 --> 00:57:08,461
(Laughing)

1451
00:57:08,495 --> 00:57:11,431
Do I look like someone
who files a tax return?

1452
00:57:11,464 --> 00:57:14,568
(Laughing)

1453
00:57:14,602 --> 00:57:16,070
Ah, relax, kids.

1454
00:57:16,103 --> 00:57:19,073
You're not in the hands
of an amateur.

1455
00:57:19,106 --> 00:57:23,344
I have done this many times.

1456
00:57:23,377 --> 00:57:26,714
Many, many, many times.

1457
00:57:26,747 --> 00:57:30,685
In fact, sometimes I think
I've been doing it forever.

1458
00:57:30,718 --> 00:57:33,387
So as I get older,
if you think I'm getting

1459
00:57:33,421 --> 00:57:36,489
a little more rough,
if I'm not quite exuding

1460
00:57:36,524 --> 00:57:39,694
that enthusiasm
that once I exuded,

1461
00:57:39,727 --> 00:57:43,364
if I'm not doing everything
with a sweet smile anymore,

1462
00:57:43,397 --> 00:57:46,634
it's because I'm so
fucking tired of dealing

1463
00:57:46,667 --> 00:57:49,704
with you fucking morons!

1464
00:57:51,172 --> 00:57:52,139
Yeah, forget it.

1465
00:57:52,173 --> 00:57:53,240
Forget, forget what I said.

1466
00:57:53,274 --> 00:57:55,509
Forget what I said.

1467
00:57:55,543 --> 00:57:58,746
Put some music on,
maybe it'll soothe

1468
00:57:58,779 --> 00:58:00,014
the savage beast.

1469
00:58:00,047 --> 00:58:02,316
- (Groans)
- Amen to that.

1470
00:58:02,350 --> 00:58:04,986
If music be the food of love,
play on.

1471
00:58:05,019 --> 00:58:07,922
Give me a playlist.

1472
00:58:07,955 --> 00:58:13,260
Give me excess of it,
that surfeiting the appetite

1473
00:58:13,294 --> 00:58:16,564
may sicken and so die.

1474
00:58:21,802 --> 00:58:23,771
<i>Coldplay?</i>

1475
00:58:23,804 --> 00:58:26,007
<i>The Scientists?</i>

1476
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,108
Huh, sad.

1477
00:58:27,141 --> 00:58:28,342
(Archie laughs)

1478
00:58:28,376 --> 00:58:30,144
ARCHIE:
<i>The Cure?</i>

1479
00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:32,279
<i>Pictures of You?</i>

1480
00:58:32,313 --> 00:58:36,017
Oh, depressing.

1481
00:58:36,050 --> 00:58:37,218
<i>Pinocchio?</i>

1482
00:58:37,251 --> 00:58:39,086
<i>Wish Upon a Star.</i>

1483
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:40,521
<i>Pinocchio?</i>

1484
00:58:40,554 --> 00:58:43,924
Is this your pending
suicide playlist?

1485
00:58:43,958 --> 00:58:45,292
Right?

1486
00:58:45,326 --> 00:58:48,763
Count 12 months of this,
it is a cry for help, isn't it?

1487
00:58:48,796 --> 00:58:49,597
ARCHIE:
A cry for help?

1488
00:58:49,630 --> 00:58:51,032
This isn't
a fucking cry for help,

1489
00:58:51,065 --> 00:58:52,933
this is a scream valve.

1490
00:58:52,967 --> 00:58:54,435
Here, take the gun.
Do it.

1491
00:58:54,468 --> 00:58:55,536
Blow your brains out now.

1492
00:58:55,569 --> 00:58:56,937
Come on.
Let's save us all.

1493
00:58:56,971 --> 00:58:57,705
- Come on!
- MORRIS: Hey!

1494
00:58:57,738 --> 00:58:58,672
Come on!
Let's do it.

1495
00:58:58,706 --> 00:59:00,641
Even before the breakup,
his choice in music

1496
00:59:00,674 --> 00:59:01,942
was very depressing.

1497
00:59:01,976 --> 00:59:03,010
ARCHIE:
Oh.

1498
00:59:03,044 --> 00:59:05,212
- Hey, Denise loved my music.
- Okay.

1499
00:59:05,246 --> 00:59:06,647
(Chuckles)

1500
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:09,216
ARCHIE:
What are you laughing at?

1501
00:59:09,250 --> 00:59:12,753
(Laughing)

1502
00:59:12,787 --> 00:59:15,856
Wait a minute,
we have another music critic

1503
00:59:15,890 --> 00:59:18,359
in the car with us as well.

1504
00:59:18,392 --> 00:59:24,098
Henry, I bet you and Denise
have a very special song,

1505
00:59:24,131 --> 00:59:25,266
don't you?

1506
00:59:25,299 --> 00:59:27,902
Henry, what is it?

1507
00:59:27,935 --> 00:59:28,836
Henry!

1508
00:59:28,869 --> 00:59:31,739
I did promise Dave
that there wouldn't be

1509
00:59:31,772 --> 00:59:34,775
any blood on the upholstery
but that doesn't exclude

1510
00:59:34,809 --> 00:59:36,911
internal bleeding.

1511
00:59:36,944 --> 00:59:38,712
What's the song?

1512
00:59:41,849 --> 00:59:44,051
- Marvin Gaye, <i>Sexual Healing.</i>
- No!

1513
00:59:44,085 --> 00:59:45,520
(Archie laughing)

1514
00:59:45,554 --> 00:59:46,687
- No!
- Oh, take it easy.

1515
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:47,655
Hey!

1516
00:59:52,259 --> 00:59:53,861
Oh, I love it!

1517
00:59:53,894 --> 00:59:59,867
(Laughing)

1518
00:59:59,900 --> 01:00:02,803
(Exhales and groans)

1519
01:00:05,172 --> 01:00:06,474
Man, you must really love her.

1520
01:00:06,508 --> 01:00:07,942
Not that it's any
of your fucking business

1521
01:00:07,975 --> 01:00:10,111
but yes, I do.

1522
01:00:10,144 --> 01:00:11,546
I love her.

1523
01:00:11,580 --> 01:00:12,680
Don't you?

1524
01:00:12,713 --> 01:00:15,216
I mean,
you're the guy in the tux.

1525
01:00:15,249 --> 01:00:16,518
Yeah, I mean...
I mean I love her

1526
01:00:16,551 --> 01:00:18,953
but I'm not sure I love her
as much as that guy.

1527
01:00:18,986 --> 01:00:20,421
Hey.

1528
01:00:20,454 --> 01:00:23,090
Well, you better be sure,
because if you think

1529
01:00:23,124 --> 01:00:25,226
you're a prisoner now,
just wait till you're married,

1530
01:00:25,259 --> 01:00:29,697
you... you could be looking back
on being stuffed down a toilet

1531
01:00:29,730 --> 01:00:32,800
and beaten up as the best part
of your life.

1532
01:00:32,833 --> 01:00:33,901
If you're not sure you love her
that much,

1533
01:00:33,934 --> 01:00:36,003
then why are you marrying her?

1534
01:00:36,036 --> 01:00:38,372
You know how it is.

1535
01:00:38,405 --> 01:00:45,212
She's...
truth is we don't really

1536
01:00:45,246 --> 01:00:50,251
have that much in common
except for... you know.

1537
01:00:51,785 --> 01:00:53,254
Marvin.

1538
01:00:55,189 --> 01:00:58,325
(Laughing)

1539
01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:03,397
Ah, well, it sounds to me
as if the groom here

1540
01:01:03,430 --> 01:01:07,569
is having second thoughts.

1541
01:01:07,602 --> 01:01:09,670
It would be amazing, ey,
if this kidnapping

1542
01:01:09,703 --> 01:01:12,139
turned out to be
a rescue mission.

1543
01:01:12,173 --> 01:01:15,276
(Laughing)

1544
01:01:21,715 --> 01:01:24,852
Okay, Henry,
you sit down there.

1545
01:01:24,885 --> 01:01:27,522
And if you promise
that you will not move

1546
01:01:27,556 --> 01:01:31,492
until I tell you,
I will not tie you up again.

1547
01:01:31,526 --> 01:01:32,993
Anyone want something to drink?

1548
01:01:33,027 --> 01:01:34,295
I'm not hosting a party, okay?

1549
01:01:34,328 --> 01:01:35,930
I wanna get this over with
as soon as possible.

1550
01:01:35,963 --> 01:01:37,898
I'll take a beer.

1551
01:01:37,932 --> 01:01:38,899
And I'm famished.

1552
01:01:38,933 --> 01:01:41,101
Is there anywhere around here
we can order in?

1553
01:01:41,135 --> 01:01:43,938
Yes. There is a great deli
just right up the street.

1554
01:01:43,971 --> 01:01:45,105
- I mean...
- Hmm.

1555
01:01:45,139 --> 01:01:46,307
But are they quick?

1556
01:01:46,340 --> 01:01:47,741
'Cause we haven't got
much time, yeah?

1557
01:01:47,775 --> 01:01:50,177
We got to get Dave
back to the church.

1558
01:01:50,211 --> 01:01:51,613
What?

1559
01:01:51,646 --> 01:01:53,280
I thought we were coming here
to discuss what to do next.

1560
01:01:53,314 --> 01:01:54,583
Dave?

1561
01:01:54,616 --> 01:01:56,183
Well, we have discussed
the next move

1562
01:01:56,217 --> 01:02:00,721
and the next move is this,
you are going to see Denise.

1563
01:02:00,754 --> 01:02:05,292
You understand that nothing
can happen until you do

1564
01:02:05,326 --> 01:02:07,795
what you need to do.

1565
01:02:07,828 --> 01:02:08,929
But you knew that?

1566
01:02:11,966 --> 01:02:13,901
Archie, what kind of sandwich
do you want?

1567
01:02:13,934 --> 01:02:16,270
ARCHIE:
What's their pastrami like?

1568
01:02:16,303 --> 01:02:18,172
She's not gonna take me back.

1569
01:02:18,205 --> 01:02:19,740
MORRIS:
You know, I don't know.

1570
01:02:19,773 --> 01:02:21,108
I only get the corned beef.

1571
01:02:21,141 --> 01:02:22,309
Ah, what the heck.

1572
01:02:22,343 --> 01:02:23,811
I'm gonna live dangerous today.

1573
01:02:23,844 --> 01:02:26,180
I'll take the pastrami,
extra lean

1574
01:02:26,213 --> 01:02:27,481
or I'd come down there.

1575
01:02:27,515 --> 01:02:29,149
I mean what am I
gonna even say to her?

1576
01:02:29,183 --> 01:02:30,451
That is extra lean, please.

1577
01:02:30,484 --> 01:02:31,952
Uh, trust me,
you do not want this guy

1578
01:02:31,986 --> 01:02:32,920
coming down there.

1579
01:02:32,953 --> 01:02:34,288
And roast beef for Henry.

1580
01:02:34,321 --> 01:02:35,557
I don't like roast beef.

1581
01:02:35,590 --> 01:02:39,159
Who cares what you like!

1582
01:02:39,193 --> 01:02:41,630
You wanna try the pastrami?

1583
01:02:41,663 --> 01:02:44,198
Ham and cheese on a Kaiser roll.

1584
01:02:44,231 --> 01:02:45,600
What the hell is going on here?

1585
01:02:45,634 --> 01:02:49,571
And ham and cheese
on a Kaiser for Henry.

1586
01:02:49,604 --> 01:02:52,707
Archie, how can I go
to Denise now?

1587
01:02:52,741 --> 01:02:55,476
How would I even begin
to explain any of this?

1588
01:02:55,510 --> 01:02:58,112
Oh, does anybody wanna know
what the soup of the day?

1589
01:02:58,145 --> 01:02:59,179
Seriously?

1590
01:02:59,213 --> 01:03:01,181
Archie?

1591
01:03:01,215 --> 01:03:04,151
Well, it would help
if you tell us what the fuck

1592
01:03:04,184 --> 01:03:05,553
sort of soup it is.

1593
01:03:05,587 --> 01:03:06,453
Clam chowder.

1594
01:03:06,487 --> 01:03:08,155
New England clam chowder?

1595
01:03:08,188 --> 01:03:09,390
New England?

1596
01:03:09,423 --> 01:03:10,224
Manhattan.

1597
01:03:10,257 --> 01:03:11,726
Ugh.

1598
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:14,028
That is a hard no on the soup.

1599
01:03:14,061 --> 01:03:14,862
Thank you very much.

1600
01:03:14,895 --> 01:03:16,797
Well, there you have it,
young Dave.

1601
01:03:16,830 --> 01:03:20,568
You can either have
a New England clam chowder

1602
01:03:20,602 --> 01:03:24,471
sort of life,
which is rich and romantic

1603
01:03:24,506 --> 01:03:28,409
like a deep French kiss
on a warm summer day

1604
01:03:28,442 --> 01:03:35,249
or you can have
a Manhattan clam chowder

1605
01:03:35,282 --> 01:03:39,119
sort of life,
which is a brown

1606
01:03:39,153 --> 01:03:43,725
dreary vegetable soup
that smells like fish.

1607
01:03:45,259 --> 01:03:47,828
I want her back.

1608
01:03:47,861 --> 01:03:50,364
I do.

1609
01:03:50,397 --> 01:03:51,766
It's not gonna happen.

1610
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:54,636
Man, you are unbelievable.

1611
01:03:54,669 --> 01:03:55,770
Did you say something?

1612
01:03:57,706 --> 01:04:00,341
I said you're unbelievable.

1613
01:04:00,374 --> 01:04:01,609
No wonder Denise
never even mentioned

1614
01:04:01,643 --> 01:04:03,010
your name to me.

1615
01:04:04,945 --> 01:04:07,549
I mean, if you don't think
she could want you back now,

1616
01:04:07,582 --> 01:04:09,016
then why would you think
she ever wanted you

1617
01:04:09,049 --> 01:04:11,118
in the first place?

1618
01:04:11,151 --> 01:04:12,587
Don't you get it?

1619
01:04:12,620 --> 01:04:14,723
Either give her credit
for falling in love with you

1620
01:04:14,756 --> 01:04:16,725
or pay her due respect
for breaking up with you,

1621
01:04:16,758 --> 01:04:18,793
but don't underestimate her.

1622
01:04:18,827 --> 01:04:21,362
Oh, I must have knocked
some sense in your head

1623
01:04:21,395 --> 01:04:22,697
after all.

1624
01:04:22,731 --> 01:04:24,766
Maybe I am underestimating her.

1625
01:04:29,738 --> 01:04:31,840
I don't wanna marry
Denise anymore.

1626
01:04:35,442 --> 01:04:39,213
I want New England clam chowder.

1627
01:04:39,246 --> 01:04:41,783
She's all yours.

1628
01:04:41,816 --> 01:04:43,484
What?

1629
01:04:43,518 --> 01:04:46,353
This just keeps getting
weirder and weirder.

1630
01:04:46,387 --> 01:04:49,123
Are you just saying that
because of him?

1631
01:04:49,156 --> 01:04:49,824
Yeah.

1632
01:04:49,858 --> 01:04:50,859
No.

1633
01:04:50,891 --> 01:04:51,925
No.

1634
01:04:51,959 --> 01:04:54,294
I mean granted I don't have
a lot of choice

1635
01:04:54,328 --> 01:04:56,531
in the matter, but no.

1636
01:04:56,564 --> 01:04:59,066
Now that I think about it,
I don't wanna marry her.

1637
01:04:59,099 --> 01:05:00,234
But this is Denise.

1638
01:05:00,267 --> 01:05:02,069
I know, man.
But look at you.

1639
01:05:02,102 --> 01:05:03,904
Huh, I mean, I barely know you
and I can tell

1640
01:05:03,937 --> 01:05:05,973
that she turned you inside out
and back again.

1641
01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:09,544
I am not ready to give myself,
heart and soul,

1642
01:05:09,577 --> 01:05:11,746
to someone who could
do that to me.

1643
01:05:11,780 --> 01:05:14,381
- Yes, man.
- Hmm.

1644
01:05:14,415 --> 01:05:16,584
What did I say in the car?

1645
01:05:16,618 --> 01:05:20,154
This is a rescue mission.

1646
01:05:20,187 --> 01:05:22,524
(Sighs and laughs)

1647
01:05:22,557 --> 01:05:25,660
At last,
we're all on the same page.

1648
01:05:25,693 --> 01:05:26,594
- Let's go.
- DAVE: Come on.

1649
01:05:26,628 --> 01:05:27,762
There's no way.

1650
01:05:27,796 --> 01:05:30,030
I mean... I mean,
just because he isn't in love

1651
01:05:30,063 --> 01:05:32,801
with her doesn't mean
that she isn't in love with him.

1652
01:05:32,834 --> 01:05:35,002
And even if she isn't,
doesn't mean that she's in love

1653
01:05:35,035 --> 01:05:36,036
with me anymore.

1654
01:05:36,069 --> 01:05:37,204
David.
Dave.

1655
01:05:37,237 --> 01:05:39,339
Before you knew that Denise
was getting married,

1656
01:05:39,373 --> 01:05:41,709
you were gonna go down there,
talk to her and tell her

1657
01:05:41,743 --> 01:05:44,178
how you felt to see
if that meant anything

1658
01:05:44,211 --> 01:05:46,380
to her still, right?

1659
01:05:46,413 --> 01:05:50,384
Okay? So as it turns out
she is not getting married,

1660
01:05:50,417 --> 01:05:52,085
so nothing has changed.

1661
01:06:03,163 --> 01:06:06,768
(Sighs and chuckles)

1662
01:06:09,303 --> 01:06:12,973
Maybe this can happen,
I mean really happen.

1663
01:06:13,006 --> 01:06:16,009
I knew I could make
a true believer of you.

1664
01:06:16,043 --> 01:06:17,812
Right, come on!

1665
01:06:17,846 --> 01:06:21,348
Okay, let's go and pick up
that food and get to the church.

1666
01:06:21,381 --> 01:06:23,383
(♪♪♪)

1667
01:06:30,859 --> 01:06:33,227
ARCHIE:
This pastrami isn't lean.

1668
01:06:33,260 --> 01:06:34,161
It's not lean.

1669
01:06:34,194 --> 01:06:35,530
Call this lean?

1670
01:06:35,563 --> 01:06:36,831
MORRIS:
I said lean.

1671
01:06:36,865 --> 01:06:38,065
And where's the mustard?

1672
01:06:40,568 --> 01:06:42,537
There is no mustard!

1673
01:06:42,570 --> 01:06:44,304
There's no mustard here!

1674
01:06:44,338 --> 01:06:46,841
Who's got the mustard?

1675
01:06:46,875 --> 01:06:49,109
You.

1676
01:06:49,142 --> 01:06:51,980
You. I knew I should have kept
that gag on you.

1677
01:06:52,012 --> 01:06:54,114
I want half of that
ham and cheese.

1678
01:06:54,147 --> 01:06:54,983
Why?

1679
01:06:55,015 --> 01:06:56,250
Why?

1680
01:06:56,283 --> 01:07:00,622
Because my pastrami is fatty,
because there is no mustard,

1681
01:07:00,655 --> 01:07:02,256
and because you're
my fucking prisoner,

1682
01:07:02,289 --> 01:07:04,626
give me the sandwich!

1683
01:07:04,659 --> 01:07:06,995
MORRIS: This is gonna make a
great story for the grandkids

1684
01:07:07,027 --> 01:07:07,762
someday.

1685
01:07:07,795 --> 01:07:08,997
Yours or mine?

1686
01:07:09,029 --> 01:07:10,464
Yours.

1687
01:07:10,497 --> 01:07:13,367
I am never getting married
and I'm never having kids.

1688
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:14,636
Hmm.

1689
01:07:14,669 --> 01:07:17,605
And what are you gonna do
when you fall in love?

1690
01:07:17,639 --> 01:07:19,774
Ugh, won't happen.

1691
01:07:19,807 --> 01:07:22,276
As Dave can attest to,
I only gamble on things

1692
01:07:22,309 --> 01:07:23,645
that I can count on.

1693
01:07:23,678 --> 01:07:25,412
She never lets anyone
get that close to her.

1694
01:07:25,445 --> 01:07:28,115
Is that right?
Hmm.

1695
01:07:28,148 --> 01:07:30,518
Simple but ingenious plan
to avoid all of this

1696
01:07:30,552 --> 01:07:32,854
emotional chaos and baggage.

1697
01:07:32,887 --> 01:07:34,556
Well, you seem to have
got it all sorted out,

1698
01:07:34,589 --> 01:07:35,523
haven't you?

1699
01:07:35,557 --> 01:07:36,858
Right, Morris?

1700
01:07:36,891 --> 01:07:38,593
But I have to tell you,
you're full of crap.

1701
01:07:38,626 --> 01:07:40,227
(Dave laughs)

1702
01:07:40,260 --> 01:07:44,999
You may be a girl, Morris,
but your balls

1703
01:07:45,033 --> 01:07:49,637
are on the same pendulum
as everyone else on the planet,

1704
01:07:49,671 --> 01:07:52,540
they're just going
to get clapped,

1705
01:07:52,574 --> 01:07:54,441
it's just a matter of time.

1706
01:07:54,474 --> 01:07:55,810
(Dave sighs)

1707
01:07:55,843 --> 01:07:57,779
Hey, we're almost at the church.

1708
01:07:57,812 --> 01:07:59,146
We're almost at the church.

1709
01:07:59,179 --> 01:08:01,616
Well, you don't expect
our friend here to pinch hit

1710
01:08:01,649 --> 01:08:03,216
for you wearing that costume.

1711
01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:04,384
I'll be happy
if I can just get her

1712
01:08:04,418 --> 01:08:05,218
to start dating me again.

1713
01:08:05,252 --> 01:08:07,154
I don't need
to get married today.

1714
01:08:07,187 --> 01:08:10,825
Dave, this is your chance
to hit for the fences.

1715
01:08:10,858 --> 01:08:13,293
Now, shut up and tell me
your suit size.

1716
01:08:13,327 --> 01:08:14,227
42 regular.

1717
01:08:14,261 --> 01:08:15,162
Henry?

1718
01:08:15,195 --> 01:08:16,096
46 long.

1719
01:08:16,129 --> 01:08:17,899
Close enough.
Swap over now.

1720
01:08:20,935 --> 01:08:21,803
DAVE:
We're doing it.

1721
01:08:21,836 --> 01:08:22,637
Come on, come on,
help each other.

1722
01:08:22,670 --> 01:08:24,104
Help each other here.

1723
01:08:24,137 --> 01:08:26,074
Yup, good, good,
get him on first here.

1724
01:08:26,106 --> 01:08:26,841
- Quick, quick, quick, quick.
- Be careful, it's Italian.

1725
01:08:26,874 --> 01:08:27,675
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh, okay.

1726
01:08:27,709 --> 01:08:29,510
- What?
- Italian?

1727
01:08:29,544 --> 01:08:30,477
Nice quality, too.

1728
01:08:30,511 --> 01:08:31,746
Here.
Okay.

1729
01:08:31,779 --> 01:08:33,014
Keep going, keep going,
keep... good.

1730
01:08:33,047 --> 01:08:34,147
- (Sighs)
- Oh, shit, man.

1731
01:08:34,181 --> 01:08:35,683
There's blood stains
all over it.

1732
01:08:35,717 --> 01:08:37,250
ARCHIE:
Ah, no one's gonna notice.

1733
01:08:37,284 --> 01:08:38,686
You expect me
to get my ex-girlfriend back

1734
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:40,755
wearing her fiancé's
blood-stained tuxedo?

1735
01:08:40,788 --> 01:08:41,689
(Laughs)

1736
01:08:41,723 --> 01:08:44,157
There speaks the nervous groom.

1737
01:08:44,191 --> 01:08:45,158
Where's the vest?

1738
01:08:45,192 --> 01:08:46,694
No vest, it was a cummerbund.

1739
01:08:46,728 --> 01:08:47,528
I'm fine, the cummerbund.

1740
01:08:47,562 --> 01:08:48,529
Where is it?

1741
01:08:48,563 --> 01:08:49,797
- I don't know.
- ARCHIE: Shit.

1742
01:08:49,831 --> 01:08:53,034
I used it to choke Henry here
in the car park of the church.

1743
01:08:53,067 --> 01:08:54,134
Well, what did you do
with it after?

1744
01:08:54,167 --> 01:08:55,937
I stuck it down the sewer
at the bar.

1745
01:08:55,970 --> 01:08:57,538
Like that's the first thing
Denise is going to notice

1746
01:08:57,572 --> 01:08:58,940
when she sees you
instead of Henry.

1747
01:08:58,973 --> 01:08:59,874
You had to use the cummerbund.

1748
01:08:59,907 --> 01:09:01,208
You couldn't use
your hands or something?

1749
01:09:01,241 --> 01:09:03,811
Look, will you stop criticizing
the way I work?

1750
01:09:03,845 --> 01:09:04,846
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, good.

1751
01:09:04,879 --> 01:09:06,547
I'm sorry.
I am nervous.

1752
01:09:06,581 --> 01:09:07,414
(Laughs)

1753
01:09:07,447 --> 01:09:08,348
Oh, gosh, you're nervous.

1754
01:09:08,382 --> 01:09:09,751
I wasn't expecting
to get married today.

1755
01:09:09,784 --> 01:09:11,251
It's okay.
You're going to get married!

1756
01:09:11,284 --> 01:09:12,020
(Screaming)

1757
01:09:12,053 --> 01:09:14,088
ARCHIE:
He is gonna get married!

1758
01:09:14,122 --> 01:09:15,355
Hey!

1759
01:09:15,389 --> 01:09:16,791
(All cheering)

1760
01:09:16,824 --> 01:09:18,258
- (Tires screeching)
- (Horns honking)

1761
01:09:18,291 --> 01:09:19,827
Should I even ask
what I'm supposed to do

1762
01:09:19,861 --> 01:09:21,029
about a ring?

1763
01:09:21,062 --> 01:09:22,496
Funny you should ask,
because I picked one up

1764
01:09:22,530 --> 01:09:23,665
this very morning.

1765
01:09:23,698 --> 01:09:25,833
From where?

1766
01:09:25,867 --> 01:09:28,636
I went to Jared.

1767
01:09:28,670 --> 01:09:29,904
♪ Pricked ♪

1768
01:09:29,937 --> 01:09:31,839
♪ There's a glint in your eye ♪

1769
01:09:31,873 --> 01:09:32,974
♪ Pricked ♪

1770
01:09:33,007 --> 01:09:35,043
♪ It's when hell has arrived ♪

1771
01:09:35,076 --> 01:09:37,845
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ♪

1772
01:09:37,879 --> 01:09:41,248
♪ My jaw, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1773
01:09:41,281 --> 01:09:42,182
♪ Pricked ♪

1774
01:09:42,215 --> 01:09:44,317
♪ Feel the sting on the skin ♪

1775
01:09:44,351 --> 01:09:45,153
♪ Pricked ♪

1776
01:09:45,185 --> 01:09:47,421
♪ Drive an angel to sing ♪

1777
01:09:47,454 --> 01:09:50,091
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1778
01:09:50,124 --> 01:09:52,259
♪ My jaw oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1779
01:09:53,260 --> 01:09:55,163
I'm sure glad things
worked out this way.

1780
01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:55,997
Yeah.

1781
01:09:56,030 --> 01:09:57,297
And when that swelling
goes down,

1782
01:09:57,330 --> 01:09:59,232
you're gonna be
like a new man.

1783
01:09:59,266 --> 01:10:01,769
Now, do you require me
to beat some sense

1784
01:10:01,803 --> 01:10:03,938
into your head
or are you prepared to walk

1785
01:10:03,971 --> 01:10:06,107
the line for love?

1786
01:10:06,140 --> 01:10:07,642
- I'm ready.
- Good.

1787
01:10:07,675 --> 01:10:09,242
I'm so sorry
about the mustard stain

1788
01:10:09,276 --> 01:10:10,178
on the bow tie.

1789
01:10:10,210 --> 01:10:12,580
Diverts the attention away
from the blood.

1790
01:10:12,613 --> 01:10:13,480
What am I supposed
to tell Denise

1791
01:10:13,514 --> 01:10:14,515
when she asks where Henry is?

1792
01:10:14,549 --> 01:10:15,983
Tell her the truth.

1793
01:10:16,017 --> 01:10:17,185
I don't even know
what the truth is.

1794
01:10:17,217 --> 01:10:18,351
Oh, come on.

1795
01:10:18,385 --> 01:10:21,122
The truth is what is always
has been, always will be.

1796
01:10:21,155 --> 01:10:24,324
It doesn't matter where Henry is
because you're the one

1797
01:10:24,357 --> 01:10:27,061
she's going to marry,
because you're the one

1798
01:10:27,095 --> 01:10:29,564
who's destined for her.

1799
01:10:29,597 --> 01:10:30,998
Oh, and if you see my mother,

1800
01:10:31,032 --> 01:10:35,603
would you tell her I'm sorry
and I will call her later.

1801
01:10:35,636 --> 01:10:36,637
Am I free to go now?

1802
01:10:36,671 --> 01:10:40,108
Did I say you are
free to go now?

1803
01:10:40,141 --> 01:10:40,808
Right.

1804
01:10:40,842 --> 01:10:42,910
Well, come on, come on.

1805
01:10:42,944 --> 01:10:44,912
You don't want Denise
to think she's been stood up

1806
01:10:44,946 --> 01:10:45,980
at the altar.

1807
01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:47,048
Hey, hey, hey,
you sure you don't want

1808
01:10:47,081 --> 01:10:48,950
a quick bachelor party
because the strip club

1809
01:10:48,983 --> 01:10:50,450
is just down the block.

1810
01:10:50,484 --> 01:10:52,520
Yeah, I'm sure.

1811
01:10:52,553 --> 01:10:53,988
But I do expect you
to get me a honeymoon suite

1812
01:10:54,021 --> 01:10:54,689
in Vegas.

1813
01:10:54,722 --> 01:10:55,923
Comp'd.

1814
01:10:55,957 --> 01:10:58,391
You got it, cuz.

1815
01:10:58,425 --> 01:11:01,562
Oh God, he wants to start
another conversation.

1816
01:11:01,596 --> 01:11:02,830
I don't know what to say.

1817
01:11:02,864 --> 01:11:04,132
- Good.
- Thank you.

1818
01:11:04,165 --> 01:11:05,499
- (Morris laughs)
- You're welcome!

1819
01:11:05,533 --> 01:11:06,901
- Go!
- Go!

1820
01:11:06,934 --> 01:11:09,837
- (Archie laughs)
- Davey, Davey!

1821
01:11:09,871 --> 01:11:11,005
Whoo!

1822
01:11:12,907 --> 01:11:14,474
You think he's really
got a chance?

1823
01:11:14,509 --> 01:11:16,010
I have no idea.

1824
01:11:17,812 --> 01:11:18,946
(Cheering)

1825
01:11:18,980 --> 01:11:22,116
(Bell tolling)

1826
01:11:24,118 --> 01:11:25,853
Oh, what the hell?

1827
01:11:25,887 --> 01:11:26,654
DAVE:
This can't be.

1828
01:11:26,687 --> 01:11:29,824
Uh, who is that guy?

1829
01:11:29,857 --> 01:11:30,958
HENRY:
Who's that guy?

1830
01:11:30,992 --> 01:11:31,859
Who's that girl?

1831
01:11:31,893 --> 01:11:33,694
She is smoking hot.

1832
01:11:33,728 --> 01:11:35,563
What do you mean
who's that girl?

1833
01:11:35,596 --> 01:11:36,931
That is Denise.

1834
01:11:36,964 --> 01:11:38,800
No, that's not Denise.

1835
01:11:38,833 --> 01:11:39,834
What the fuck
are you talking about?

1836
01:11:39,867 --> 01:11:41,736
Of course, that's Denise, man.

1837
01:11:41,769 --> 01:11:43,671
No. No, that's not Denise.

1838
01:11:43,704 --> 01:11:45,506
I mean, maybe that's your Denise
but that's not the Denise

1839
01:11:45,540 --> 01:11:46,707
I was gonna marry.

1840
01:11:46,741 --> 01:11:47,742
(Chuckles)

1841
01:11:47,775 --> 01:11:50,111
Archie?

1842
01:11:50,144 --> 01:11:51,311
What the hell is going on?

1843
01:11:51,344 --> 01:11:52,947
ARCHIE:
"Congratulations,

1844
01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:58,252
Denise and Henry
and Denise and Joe."

1845
01:11:58,286 --> 01:11:59,787
Oh, fuck.

1846
01:11:59,821 --> 01:12:02,256
(Laughing)

1847
01:12:02,290 --> 01:12:05,660
I kidnapped
the wrong bridegroom.

1848
01:12:05,693 --> 01:12:08,461
(Henry laughs)

1849
01:12:08,495 --> 01:12:09,864
Oh, well.

1850
01:12:09,897 --> 01:12:11,833
I'm sorry?
"Oh, well?"

1851
01:12:11,866 --> 01:12:14,401
You kidnapped the wrong groom
and all you have to say

1852
01:12:14,434 --> 01:12:15,603
is "oh, well"?

1853
01:12:15,636 --> 01:12:18,405
That's so crazy.

1854
01:12:18,438 --> 01:12:21,108
Two Denises getting married
at the same place

1855
01:12:21,142 --> 01:12:24,145
on the same day.

1856
01:12:24,178 --> 01:12:25,546
Some coincidence, huh?

1857
01:12:25,580 --> 01:12:27,347
(Archie sighs)

1858
01:12:27,380 --> 01:12:32,452
Henry,
you are officially released.

1859
01:12:32,485 --> 01:12:34,421
(Laughs)

1860
01:12:34,454 --> 01:12:36,456
Oh, unless...

1861
01:12:36,489 --> 01:12:38,559
Unless you wanna marry
your Denise.

1862
01:12:38,593 --> 01:12:39,694
No, no.

1863
01:12:39,727 --> 01:12:42,096
I knew which Denise
I was marrying the whole time.

1864
01:12:43,831 --> 01:12:45,032
See ya.

1865
01:12:47,535 --> 01:12:48,870
Denise, please wait!

1866
01:12:48,903 --> 01:12:49,937
Dave!

1867
01:12:49,971 --> 01:12:51,772
Hey, forget about it, man!

1868
01:12:51,806 --> 01:12:53,307
You're too late.

1869
01:12:53,341 --> 01:12:56,277
Jesus, would you look at him?

1870
01:12:56,310 --> 01:12:58,079
You gotta do something.

1871
01:12:58,112 --> 01:13:00,615
Like what?
Gun him down in the street?

1872
01:13:00,648 --> 01:13:02,016
I don't know.
Something.

1873
01:13:02,049 --> 01:13:03,651
Anything.

1874
01:13:03,684 --> 01:13:04,719
Oh, God.

1875
01:13:04,752 --> 01:13:06,187
I gotta get out of this racket.

1876
01:13:06,220 --> 01:13:07,889
This is your fault.

1877
01:13:07,922 --> 01:13:11,325
Even dogs deserve to die
with some dignity.

1878
01:13:15,796 --> 01:13:16,998
Right.

1879
01:13:22,103 --> 01:13:24,171
- Ah!
- (Glass breaking)

1880
01:13:26,007 --> 01:13:27,141
Mmm.

1881
01:13:36,918 --> 01:13:39,253
Sorry, Dave!

1882
01:13:39,287 --> 01:13:42,623
Some things are just
not meant to be.

1883
01:13:42,657 --> 01:13:44,525
Denise!

1884
01:13:44,558 --> 01:13:45,326
Da... Dave?

1885
01:13:45,359 --> 01:13:46,894
Oh my God,
what are you doing here?

1886
01:13:46,928 --> 01:13:48,095
I've come to...

1887
01:13:48,129 --> 01:13:50,765
(Screams)

1888
01:13:50,798 --> 01:13:51,799
Bull's-eye.

1889
01:13:51,832 --> 01:13:53,601
(Dave screams in pain)

1890
01:13:55,468 --> 01:13:56,270
Good shot.

1891
01:13:56,304 --> 01:13:59,840
Yes, I can still do it!

1892
01:13:59,874 --> 01:14:01,809
My work here is done.

1893
01:14:01,842 --> 01:14:02,977
Are you sure?

1894
01:14:03,010 --> 01:14:04,712
I mean, he's still breathing.

1895
01:14:04,745 --> 01:14:06,113
(Grunts)

1896
01:14:06,147 --> 01:14:07,782
You can't be married!

1897
01:14:07,815 --> 01:14:08,716
(Dave panting)

1898
01:14:08,749 --> 01:14:09,917
DAVE:
He's not Henry.

1899
01:14:09,951 --> 01:14:10,885
What?

1900
01:14:10,918 --> 01:14:12,954
He's... that's Henry.

1901
01:14:12,987 --> 01:14:14,487
Who... who's Henry?

1902
01:14:14,522 --> 01:14:17,858
All I see is your stupid cousin
and some old man

1903
01:14:17,892 --> 01:14:19,093
wearing red sneakers?

1904
01:14:19,126 --> 01:14:20,460
Henry's your fiancé.

1905
01:14:20,493 --> 01:14:21,295
What?

1906
01:14:21,329 --> 01:14:24,098
I don't know Henry,
I married Joe.

1907
01:14:24,131 --> 01:14:26,133
Dave, you need to get
some help.

1908
01:14:26,167 --> 01:14:28,302
I did get help, I got Archie.

1909
01:14:28,336 --> 01:14:30,738
And he kidnapped Henry
and shoved him

1910
01:14:30,771 --> 01:14:31,706
in the bathroom stall,

1911
01:14:31,739 --> 01:14:33,473
and then...
and then threatened to kill me,

1912
01:14:33,507 --> 01:14:36,310
then we had deli
at my apartment, and all

1913
01:14:36,344 --> 01:14:38,279
so you and I could be
together now.

1914
01:14:38,312 --> 01:14:41,248
Well, Dave, I...

1915
01:14:41,282 --> 01:14:43,417
I don't even know
what to say to you, okay?

1916
01:14:43,451 --> 01:14:45,786
You need to move the fuck on!

1917
01:14:45,820 --> 01:14:49,657
But you've always wanted
this big movie moment.

1918
01:14:49,690 --> 01:14:53,094
Here it is,
New England clam chowder.

1919
01:14:54,028 --> 01:14:55,730
New... New England?

1920
01:14:58,265 --> 01:15:02,203
But you know,
there was a moment a while back

1921
01:15:02,236 --> 01:15:04,872
that I thought maybe
it was you and not Joe.

1922
01:15:04,905 --> 01:15:07,641
And?

1923
01:15:07,675 --> 01:15:11,112
And here I am, you know.

1924
01:15:11,145 --> 01:15:13,748
Sure, I never got
that big movie moment,

1925
01:15:13,781 --> 01:15:16,951
but who cares
when you're really in love?

1926
01:15:16,984 --> 01:15:20,121
Like who cares
how love happens.

1927
01:15:20,154 --> 01:15:21,389
Are you ready, my princess?

1928
01:15:24,058 --> 01:15:25,326
DAVE:
Oh, Denise, no.

1929
01:15:25,359 --> 01:15:27,161
Oh, Denise, please.

1930
01:15:27,194 --> 01:15:29,663
No, no.
Denise.

1931
01:15:29,697 --> 01:15:31,132
Come back.

1932
01:15:31,165 --> 01:15:34,001
Come back!

1933
01:15:34,035 --> 01:15:35,569
(Groans)

1934
01:15:35,603 --> 01:15:37,972
(Siren blaring)

1935
01:15:38,005 --> 01:15:39,740
You know what, Archie,
your tactics

1936
01:15:39,774 --> 01:15:43,644
were a little unorthodox,
but for a while there

1937
01:15:43,677 --> 01:15:46,113
I really thought
you had your shit together.

1938
01:15:46,147 --> 01:15:47,348
Yeah, well, that's the problem,
you see.

1939
01:15:47,381 --> 01:15:51,052
Everyone loves a winner,
but love is not a winning game.

1940
01:15:51,085 --> 01:15:52,219
(Scoffs)

1941
01:15:52,253 --> 01:15:53,954
That is why I never play.

1942
01:15:53,988 --> 01:15:55,524
- Never play?
- Hmm.

1943
01:15:55,556 --> 01:15:56,991
You will.

1944
01:15:57,024 --> 01:15:58,225
One day.

1945
01:15:58,259 --> 01:16:00,227
Sooner than you think.

1946
01:16:11,839 --> 01:16:14,975
(Panting)

1947
01:16:15,009 --> 01:16:17,945
Stella?

1948
01:16:17,978 --> 01:16:19,113
Stella, is that you?

1949
01:16:19,146 --> 01:16:20,014
Dave.

1950
01:16:20,047 --> 01:16:22,283
(Laughs)

1951
01:16:22,316 --> 01:16:24,151
You have an arrow in your ass.

1952
01:16:24,185 --> 01:16:26,387
I know.

1953
01:16:26,420 --> 01:16:28,322
Denise is married.

1954
01:16:28,355 --> 01:16:29,757
Is that so?

1955
01:16:31,592 --> 01:16:34,995
Come with me.
I'll get you healed right up.

1956
01:16:35,029 --> 01:16:36,964
(Groans)

1957
01:16:39,066 --> 01:16:41,702
Can we have chocolate cake?

1958
01:16:41,735 --> 01:16:42,870
Of course.

1959
01:16:45,906 --> 01:16:48,543
But Dave here, at least,
has learned a lesson today.

1960
01:16:48,577 --> 01:16:50,444
Really?
What lesson is that?

1961
01:16:50,478 --> 01:16:52,880
Never talk to a stranger
in a bar.

1962
01:16:52,913 --> 01:16:55,249
Talking of which, I'm thirsty.

1963
01:16:55,282 --> 01:16:56,784
Come and join me.

1964
01:16:58,652 --> 01:17:00,254
Oh, fuck!

1965
01:17:00,287 --> 01:17:02,356
Isn't that the girl
that Dave met at Vegas?

1966
01:17:09,063 --> 01:17:10,464
Damn!

1967
01:17:13,734 --> 01:17:17,004
Anyone ever told you,
you can be a real prick?

1968
01:17:17,037 --> 01:17:18,906
Not in the last two minutes.

1969
01:17:23,377 --> 01:17:25,346
♪ Is it you? ♪

1970
01:17:25,379 --> 01:17:27,314
♪ Is it me? ♪

1971
01:17:27,348 --> 01:17:31,785
♪ Overwhelmed again
'cause I can't see ♪

1972
01:17:31,819 --> 01:17:39,827
♪ I'll be hooked on that thing
called love ♪

1973
01:17:49,803 --> 01:17:56,810
♪ Floating up in the clouds
is where I'd rather be ♪

1974
01:17:57,878 --> 01:18:01,148
♪ Smell the sweet
that fills the air ♪

1975
01:18:01,182 --> 01:18:05,119
♪ It makes me forget
how to breathe ♪

1976
01:18:05,152 --> 01:18:07,121
♪ Is it you? ♪

1977
01:18:07,154 --> 01:18:08,889
♪ Is it me? ♪

1978
01:18:08,923 --> 01:18:13,494
♪ Overwhelmed again
'cause I can't see ♪

1979
01:18:13,528 --> 01:18:21,536
♪ I'll be hooked on that thing
called love ♪

1980
01:18:21,902 --> 01:18:23,971
♪ Is it you? ♪

1981
01:18:24,004 --> 01:18:25,706
♪ Is it me? ♪

1982
01:18:25,739 --> 01:18:30,044
♪ Overwhelmed again
'cause I can't see ♪

1983
01:18:30,077 --> 01:18:38,085
♪ I'll be hooked on that thing
called love ♪

1984
01:18:52,466 --> 01:18:58,405
♪ I love the way it hits me ♪

1985
01:19:00,609 --> 01:19:06,780
♪ I love the way it hits me ♪

1986
01:19:09,083 --> 01:19:17,024
♪ I love the way it hits me ♪

1987
01:19:22,396 --> 01:19:28,002
(♪♪♪)

1988
01:19:28,035 --> 01:19:33,307
♪ Hooked on the sweet stuff
made me fly sugar high ♪

1989
01:19:33,340 --> 01:19:34,775
♪ Above the clouds ♪

1990
01:19:34,808 --> 01:19:38,045
♪ I got way too close
to the sun ♪

1991
01:19:39,648 --> 01:19:42,751
♪ That first kiss,
oh, we've done ♪

1992
01:19:42,783 --> 01:19:46,820
♪ Tell me, darling,
was it fun to smash my heart? ♪

1993
01:19:46,854 --> 01:19:50,324
♪ And without concern,
you lit my fire ♪

1994
01:19:50,357 --> 01:19:52,793
♪ And let me burn ♪

1995
01:19:52,826 --> 01:19:53,728
♪ Pricked ♪

1996
01:19:53,762 --> 01:19:55,896
♪ There's a glint in your eye ♪

1997
01:19:55,929 --> 01:19:56,765
♪ Pricked ♪

1998
01:19:56,797 --> 01:19:59,066
♪ It's when hell has arrived ♪

1999
01:19:59,099 --> 01:20:01,569
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2000
01:20:01,603 --> 01:20:05,072
♪ My jaw, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2001
01:20:05,105 --> 01:20:06,206
♪ Pricked ♪

2002
01:20:06,240 --> 01:20:08,175
♪ Feel the sting on the skin ♪

2003
01:20:08,208 --> 01:20:09,209
♪ Pricked ♪

2004
01:20:09,243 --> 01:20:11,278
♪ Drive an angel to sing ♪

2005
01:20:11,312 --> 01:20:14,181
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2006
01:20:14,214 --> 01:20:17,619
♪ My jaw, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2007
01:20:19,119 --> 01:20:22,923
♪ Lost in your touch,
I found my place ♪

2008
01:20:22,956 --> 01:20:24,358
♪ Stop the chase ♪

2009
01:20:24,391 --> 01:20:25,893
♪ I had it all ♪

2010
01:20:25,926 --> 01:20:30,565
♪ I could never fall
to who I've become ♪

2011
01:20:30,598 --> 01:20:33,702
♪ Passion rules over me ♪

2012
01:20:33,735 --> 01:20:36,805
♪ I'll have to plead insanity ♪

2013
01:20:36,837 --> 01:20:39,873
♪ The egg I craved,
dug my grave ♪

2014
01:20:39,907 --> 01:20:43,944
♪ Nothing left of me,
you can say ♪

2015
01:20:43,977 --> 01:20:44,845
♪ Pricked ♪

2016
01:20:44,878 --> 01:20:46,947
♪ There's a glint in your eye ♪

2017
01:20:46,980 --> 01:20:47,816
♪ Pricked ♪

2018
01:20:47,848 --> 01:20:50,184
♪ It's when hell has arrived ♪

2019
01:20:50,217 --> 01:20:52,721
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2020
01:20:52,754 --> 01:20:56,256
♪ My jaw, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2021
01:20:56,290 --> 01:20:57,291
♪ Pricked ♪

2022
01:20:57,324 --> 01:20:59,259
♪ Feel the sting on the skin ♪

2023
01:20:59,293 --> 01:21:00,427
♪ Pricked ♪

2024
01:21:00,461 --> 01:21:02,463
♪ Drive an angel to sing ♪

2025
01:21:02,496 --> 01:21:05,265
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2026
01:21:05,299 --> 01:21:08,603
♪ My jaw, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

2027
01:21:08,636 --> 01:21:10,638
(♪♪♪)

2028
01:21:10,726 --> 01:21:15,726
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